30 More Days

I was reading Faith and Deployments and came across a new 30 Day Meme. This one is a little different, a little more challenging. It will make me think and do some self-exploration, I think. Since I'm flying solo this month, I think I'll try it out. Here's the schedule. Want to join me? (My first entry is after the schedule....)



Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself




Day One: Something you hate about yourself
Oh boy. I've been wallowing in my insecurity lately, so this could get lengthy. And that is one thing I don't like about myself - my insecurity. I feel loved and I know that the Captain chose me and continues to choose to be with me, so why do I get so hung up on things that make me feel bad (I'm not as pretty as so and so, does he wish I was more like his ex-wife, I bet he wishes I was more {insert random thing here}). I don't express these things often, but these types of thoughts have really taken over my mind lately. The few times I have talked about it, he's very good at telling me that he wants me and only me, I am beautiful, he loves me, etc. But I'm terrible at turning off my worries. I don't like that I'm not very assertive. I will let people hurt me and walk all over me. I won't speak up for myself. It's something I'm working on, but it's a struggle. I don't like my body or my complexion. Or my stretch marks (and I have no child to blame for those!). I could go on, but I won't Yeah....I need to learn to be more positive! Tomorrow's entry might pose more of a challenge.