So why are you still single?"
I'm often asked this question. I guess it is because most of the people in my age bracket are married now and having children. Why am I not in that lucky group of people? Did I want a career first? Is it because I've spent 88% of my adult life in some form of higher education? Do I not want a family?
My usual answers are, "Because I haven't met the right person, yet", "Because I don't want marry someone just for the sake of having a husband", "I haven't really found a good way to meet people", and my favorite "I don't know".
I was asked this question early last month by someone who seemed so surprised that I had not been "snatched up" yet. He thought surely by now "someone like me" would have met my Mr. Right and working on the happily ever after part. So I told him all my general reasons, all of which are true. He said he felt lucky to have met me while I was still single and proceeded to fill my head with fabulous compliments. Seriously now. In a month, he managed to say more nice and flattering things to me than Chris did in 4 years. Well, fast forward to today and said individual apparently just likes to use those lines. Nope, I wasn't anyone special and he didn't mean any of those breathtaking, sweet words. I fell for the lines and my player radar did not go off. Awesome. Back to square one, kiddos.
So in all honesty, THAT is why I am single. Men like that are why I have not met Mr. Right because all I seem to meet are Mr. Let-me-make-you-feel-so-good-about-yourself-that-you-think-I'm-charming-and-perfect-then-I'll-blow-you-off types of men. So if you are a man like that, don't ask a woman why she is single. It's because you make her that way. You don't really give her any other option.
*She said I don't know if I've ever been good enough
I'm a little bit rusty and I think my head is caving in.
And I don't know if I've ever been really loved
by a hand that's touched me
And I feel like something's gonna give
And I'm a little bit angry
...........
She said I don't know why you ever would lie to me
Like I'm a little untrusting when I think the truth is gonna hurt ya
And I don't know why you couldn't just stay with me
You couldn't stand to be near me
When my face don't seem to wanna shine
Cause I'm a little bit dirty
...........
Don't just stand there, say nice things to me
Cause I've been cheated, I've been wronged
And you, you don't know me*
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2 comments:
I don't mind the quiet guys that dole out compliments sparingly because at least I know that when one comes, it's sincere. It's the loud, gushing guys that should raise your red flag from go. From my experience too - they're usually full of shit. Sorry you had to learn the hard way, but don't rule a guy out just because he isn't so vocal about how he feels about you - it doesn't necessarily mean he's not feeling all those nice things inside. I learned that lesson the hard way.
I've never ruled a guy out because he was quiet and didn't dole out compliments. I almost married one. This particular guy I was posting about is the only person I've ever dated who was like that, so it's not that I learned the hard way - I already knew some guys were full of shit whether they shouted it from the rooftops or kept it all inside.
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