This is the Story of a Girl....

What's your song?

2011-04-07T15:40:00.002-05:00

Participating in Goodnight Moon's weekly song link up!

I'm feeling several songs this week! After watching the ACM awards, I found a couple of new songs and I'm also picking out music for our upcoming wedding. (Or our "after wedding" as it has been dubbed!) And anyone who knows me knows I can't ever pick just one song....

Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not?

Thompson Square

Without You

Keith Urban

Honey Bee

Blake Shelton

Old Alabama

Brad Paisley

Crazy Girl

Eli Young Band

And this song is just fun and it makes me dance in the car.

Smoke a Little Smoke

Eric Church

Wordless Wednesday

2011-04-06T15:17:00.000-05:00

MilSpouse Survey

2011-04-04T20:03:00.000-05:00

Mrs. S posted this and I thought I'd fill one out, too.

1. How long have you been a military wife? 5 1/2 months

2. What branch of service is your husband? Army

3. Active/Reserve? Active Duty

4. What is his job? Civil Affairs Officer

5. How many deployments have you gone through? I have been through one. It was his fourth.

6. Camo or Dress uniforms on your man? I love both. I don't get to see the dress too often!

7. What do you like about being a military wife? Seeing new places and being married to someone I am so incredibly proud of.

8. Do you live on base? No. We live about 10 minutes from post, though.

9. What is your favorite base so far? Torii Station was nice because it was on the beach, but Ft. Leavenworth is a nice, quiet post. I wouldn't want to stay here forever, but it's nice for now.

10. What is the hardest part of the military life? The hurry up and wait life can be difficult and the separations are really tough.

11. Do you go to the grocery store or Commissary? Usually Wal-Mart, but whatever is most convenient.

12. Do you work or stay at home? I'm a house wife right now. If it were up to me, I'd stay one forever!

13. Do you have a lot of military wife friends? I have a lot of sorority sisters who are military wives and my best friend from him is also an Army wife. I really haven't met anyone since I married into the Army.

14. Do you prefer Walmart or the BX/PX/NEX/MCX? Our PX is not so impressive. If we lived in Hawaii, then I would totally shop at the Pearl Harbor NEX, though!

15. How did your husband propose? Eh, there really wasn't a big proposal. It was just kind of a discussion about getting married and we did.

16. Did you marry him after he joined or before? After.

17. How long have you been together? Since December 2008

18. Any kids? One on the way!

19. Any kids yet to come? We have our first due in September and hope to have another one in about three years.

20. Is your husband one of those "I am soldier hear me HOOAH" kind of guys? Absolutely not. I think he is proud of his work, but he doesn't advertise his Soldier status and he's not hard core about it. I guess it's a Special Operations, thing.

21. Have you ever done combatives with your husband? He's taught me a few things.

22. How many bases have you lived at? This is the first one I have officially lived at. I lived across the street from Torii Station, Okinawa for the last six months of his time there.

23. If you could change one thing about the military? I'm not sure. The answer would probably change from time to time.

24. Do you like military balls? I've only been to one, but I enjoyed it. Ask me a few years if I still do.

25. Where does your family live? Both of our families live in Tennessee and both of our mom's families live in Alabama.

26. What do you do for a job? I just received my substitute teaching license for Kansas. I'll do that until after the baby is born and decide what I'm doing from there.

27. Have you ever gotten in a fight with an NCO's wife? Um, no. Why would I?

28. Name one thing you do when your husband is gone. I don't know that I do anything differently, except maybe keep my phone with me at all times.

29. Do you think other wives do that too? Definitely.

States I've Visited

2011-03-27T02:34:00.002-05:00

I found this over at Eat, Pray, Love....Live and thought I'd play, too. I guess I have seen about half of the country. I need to hit up the other half!

Five states I'd like to visit:
Alaska
Washington
New York
Rhode Island
Colorado

You can grab your own map here if you want to!

I need a new blog name! I'm so not creative. I made a list at some point of possible names, so I need to find that. Maybe I'll run a poll.

MilSpouse Fill-In Friday

2011-03-25T20:32:00.000-05:00

I don't think I have ever done one of these! Wife of a Sailor hosts the MilSpouse Fill-In each Friday.

1. What is your must have gadget? submitted by Flying High With My Flyboy
My iPhone. I'm hopelessly addicted to it.

2. How does your adulthood compare to what you imagined it would be like when you were a little kid? submitted by L to the Third
Oh wow. It is completely different. I thought I would be married before I was 25. I was 32. I thought I would be finished having children by the time I was 30. Obviously, that didn't happen since I married at 32. I thought I would be successful at whatever it was I was doing. I've definitely struggled with the right career path. One thing is the same, though. I am ridiculously happy with the man of my dreams.

3. What is your favorite chocolate recipe? submitted by Our First Deployment
I'm not sure I have a favorite. I really like my dad's White Chocolate Blueberry Bread Pudding. Sounds gross, but it is amazing.

4. How do you deal with military life when it gets to be too much or too hard? submitted by Combat Boots And Pointe Shoes
I just have to remember that I signed up for this and I knew what I was getting into. I also know that I need to be strong for him and that what he's doing is even harder.

5. What piece of advice would you give a new Military spouse facing their first deployment? submitted by The Albrecht Squad
Some days are going to be easier than others. Some days you won't want to get out of bed. Let yourself feel whatever you need to feel because it will pass. You'll get stronger. You'll be okay. Yes, you should be strong for yourself and for him, but you don't have to be strong 100% of the time. You'll just get overwhelmed and it will build up too much. Talk to the people who make you feel better. Do things you enjoy. Send lots of care packages and letters and cards. Keep him connected to your life at home.

Greetings from the Blizzard Bloghop!

2011-01-27T15:19:00.001-06:00

Hello and welcome! It's not quite a blizzard here, but there are several inches of snow sticking around outside from last week's snow. For those just joining me here, my name is Heather and I am a fairly new Army wife! We are stationed at Fort Leavenworth (Kansas) where my husband is attending the Command and General Staff College (ILE). We just moved here from Okinawa, Japan in December. We got married in October in Hawaii and will be having our actual wedding back home in Nashville in May. We are both from the Nashville area. We went to middle and high school together, but didn't reconnect until 2008. We did the long-distance thing for a year and a half during a deployment, time in Japan and lots of TDY time. I moved there last July so we could finally be together. It turned out to be a great decision!

While I haven't blogged much since we left Japan, I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things. It used to be a place to document the ups and downs of living 8,000 miles away from the man that I loved, but it is now going to transition to our lives back in the States, being a newlywed and being a new Army wife. Just life in general, I suppose!

Thanks for stopping in and I hope you come back!

It's that time of year again...

2011-01-26T09:05:00.000-06:00

I've been a total slacker with my blogging, so maybe tomorrow I will start back up with the Blizzard Bloghop. Here's the info from Household 6 Diva....

On Thursday January 27th, at 12pm (Noon) Eastern Standard Time, I will be posting a Linky for you to linkup your Blizzard Bloghop post! From that point on and through the weekend, we can “Meet n Greet” our way through the list and discover some wonderful new bloggers!

And there you have it!

All you need to do is start working on your Bloghop introduction post! Just remember to be respectful of your visitor’s time - you want to introduce yourself and your blog, but keep things brief, and leave them wanting to come back for another visit!

So spread the word! Blog it! Tweet it! Share it on Facebook! Write a pre-party post inviting your readers to join us! The more we share, the more fun we'll have together! I do ask that you grab a button for your sidebar and check back as some lovely giveaways are announced! (In order to be eligible for a giveaway you will need to have the button posted!)

Free Christmas Cards? Yes, please.

2010-11-22T03:26:00.000-06:00

I have been known to spend way too much on Christmas cards. WAY too much. I think at the peak of my card sending, I had about 130 people on my card list. Excessive, perhaps? I try to cut my list shorter as the years go by, but I just really enjoy letting people know that I am thinking of them during the holiday season. I also love receiving cards throughout the month and hearing from those that I may only hear from at Christmastime. Photo cards are great to see how people change and children grow year to year. This year, being a newly wed wife, I am eager to send cards to our friends and family from the two of us. When I saw that Shutterfly was offering 50 free cards to bloggers, I was thrilled and jumped on the opportunity. I love their photo cards (also look here) and think it will be perfect to send a picture of the new husband and me - especially to those who haven't met him, yet! Their calendars also make great gifts. I've created these for parents and grandparents many times.

So far, these are a few of my favorite card designs....

The more I look, the more I find that I like! This will be a difficult decision...

The Silent Ranks

2010-11-16T21:21:00.000-06:00

I'm so excited and proud to announce that I am a married woman! We got married in Hawaii somewhat spontaneously. Hopefully we'll have something more formal in a few months. It's been driving me nuts not to be able to tell the world, but now I can! I am officially an Army wife. Wow.

Dropping In and 100 Warm Feet Project

2010-11-09T23:03:00.000-06:00

It's been over a month since I've posted...sorry! We don't have regular internet access here at home and we were in Hawaii for three weeks and I was just lazy about posting there! I obviously dropped the ball on the meme. Oh well! There will be other memes. I really don't have much time to post an update now (a big one is coming!), but I wanted to post a video that my blog and many other milspouse blogs were featured in! I teared up seeing it. It's a great video, great song and great project for our troops!! Check out the site, too.... Keep feet warm in Afghanistan!! http://www.verseo.com/100-warmfeet-lp.html

Living With and Without Technology

2010-09-27T20:42:00.000-05:00

Day Fifteen: Something you couldn't live without, because you've tried
Sounds lame, but the Internet. I hate not having immediate access to people, news, information, etc. With the Internet, you can lack cable, stereo or a phone if you have to, but still be able to watch TV and movies, listen to music and communicate with others. I'm able to make international calls for free. I can prove the Captain wrong at any time by looking up proof to my side of a debate. (That's pretty important, right?)

Day Sixteen: Something you can live without
While I prefer not to, I can live without cable. I can access shows online (as I already mentioned) and can pretty much keep up with any series I want to that way. I don't like to do it that way, but if I had to, I could do it.

Let Down

2010-09-26T05:39:00.000-05:00

Day Fourteen: A hero who has let you down (a letter)
Dear Hero,
I've always looked up to you. I've always admired you. It was such a disappointment when I found out what you had done. You are better than that. I know you are. You may not think you are, but you're selling yourself short. I don't know if you consciously try to sabotage anything good that comes your way or if you just don't think before you act. I am so crestfallen when I hear about you making such poor decisions. I still love you and I still care about you and I will always be proud of you overcoming adversity, but I want to be able to trust you again. I want to trust you and have faith that you are trying to walk down the right path. I want to see you be the person you were meant to be and not someone who hurts the people that love you most.
Love,
Me

Playing Catch Up

2010-09-24T16:07:00.000-05:00

Well I'm not doing very well at keeping up with my meme! I think I drew a bit of a blank on a few of the questions and I hate to post non-answers. I may have to though at some point. I'm just going to pick up where I left off and go from there!

Day Twelve: Something you never get compliments on
This is kind of an odd question. Are we trying to focus on my imperfections, or what? I most certainly never get complimented on my rockin' body or perfect complexion. Thanks for reminding me!

Day Thirteen: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough-ass days (A letter)

Dear Dave (as in Matthews),
Thank you for writing music that I can listen to in almost any mood. You've gotten me through tough workouts. You've made me cry. You've made me think. You've kept me going on some pretty difficult days. You have a unique writing style that I love and the music itself it amazing.

Dear Alanis,
Thank you for writing angry white girl music. It is cathartic.

PS - Speaking of angry white girl, I confess I liked your music better when you were jaded and vengeful.

Days 10-11

2010-09-19T09:34:00.000-05:00

Day Ten: Someone you need to let go or wish you didn't know

Hmmm. I've been procrastinating on this one because I'm not sure I have an answer. I have pretty much parted ways with most of the people who were toxic in my life. There are people I wish I had not known from my past, but no one in the present.

Day Eleven: Something people seem to compliment you on the most
Physically, either my hair or my eyes. Other than that, I am usually appreciated (would that be the same thing?) for caring about others and remembering birthdays. :)

I can't believe Vandy beat Ole Miss yesterday! Way to go, Dores!! Unfortunately, the Vols fell to the Gators. Yeah yeah yeah, it was expected. I was hopeful, though! They really did play a great game. Getting ready to watch my Titans in a couple of hours!! I love this time of year.

Image via Wikipedia

Past Connections

2010-09-17T06:08:00.000-05:00

This one is lengthy....

Day Eight: Someone who made your life hell
I've already mentioned one person, but who wants to talk about him again? The one who really pops into mind that treated me terribly was my first "real" boyfriend. I was in high school and was definitely young and stupid. I knew I shouldn't have dated this guy, but frankly, I was tired of him bothering me about it so I said yes. I suppose his stalkerish behaviors prior to dating should have warned me, and I guess they did because I didn't want to be alone with him at first, but like I said - young and stupid. For awhile, it was okay. I liked the attention and the serious relationship was something new to me. There were a lot of things I didn't like about him and at times I found him to be pretty scary. The honeymoon was over after about six months. He was very possessive. I "had" to break ties with most of my friends, especially the male friends. I did things I did not want to do just to keep the peace between us. He threatened me. He threatened my family. He blamed me for everything (really? it's my fault you got caught speeding?). He cheated on me. He wouldn't "allow" me to break up with him. He insulted me. He convinced me that I wasn't worthy of anyone and that I was lucky to have him. He told everyone else I was worthless. This went on for two years. I tried to end things and he'd threaten things that scared me to death, so I stayed. My friends were concerned for me. My parents hated him. I never told anyone about the way he really was because I was afraid of retaliation. And my teenage pride wouldn't allow me to admit that my parents were right. He ended up breaking with me and oddly enough, I was devastated. My psyche was so screwed up at that point that I didn't know what I would do without him, even if I was miserable. Of course, this misery didn't last long. I realized I was so much happier without him and I could have fun again. He continued to make my life hell, though. He threatened the guys I dated afterward, he stalked me, he said horrible things about me to get people not to ask me out and taunted me every now and then. This would go on until well after I graduated high school and until I finally moved out of the town we lived in. While this happened a million years ago, I can see where it shaped a lot of my personality and attitude today. I still avoid conflict in order to keep things peaceful. I still have very low self-worth. I still feel like everything bad that happens is my fault. It set me up to accept a lot of crap from relationships in the years following. But in some ways, I wonder if it made me stronger. I can take a lot. That doesn't mean I should, but when I have to, I can. I wish I would have never given in to dating him, but I can certainly say I learned a lot.

Day Nine: Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted
This is actually something that has been bothering me for a few months. My senior year of high school, I ran around with a group of four other girls. I had been friends with all of them for years, but we just bonded and stuck together that year for some reason. There was one in particular that I was closest to. I think we may have had the most in common and we had the same mindset at time when the rest of the group didn't. When we all went on vacations, she and I would split off sometimes and do our own thing. She was a great friend and we had a lot of fun. She and two of the other girls went to a different college than I did. Friendships wavered, relationships waned, that's just how things go after high school. She and I stayed in touch, though. My sophomore year of college, I had to have brain surgery. She drove the almost two hours to come see me in the hospital, which meant so much to me. I didn't have many visitors and I felt like my local friends were too busy to deal with me. I was really touched that she took the time to see me. We were pretty close through college. I went to her graduation. Then we ended up living in the same city and we worked in the same field. We even worked for the same company once. The last few years, she pretty much stopped talking to me. At first she said she was just dealing with a lot - and she was - and was self-isolating. But more time went on and it was obvious I was cut out of her life. It really hurt and I didn't understand it. Well she joined up on Facebook recently and I friended her...and she denied me. She's friends with just about everyone else from our high school, but she won't connect with me. I still don't understand. To absolutely want nothing to do with me, I feel like I had to have done something to offend her. For the life of me, I cannot come up with anything. There was never a falling out and I can't think of anything malicious I did. Drifting apart happens, but to sever ties completely is something else. I'd love to be able to share my life with her right now and I'd love to hear about her marriage and her children. I treasured her as a friend and it hurts to not have her in my life. It hurts even more because I don't know why.

Living Life

2010-09-15T06:06:00.000-05:00

Day Seven: Someone who makes your life worth living
I think the way that this is worded might be a little dramatic. Life is worth living because, well, its my life. It's a gift. What I can say is that the Captain makes my life more enjoyable and more worthwhile. He actually makes feel alive. While I wasn't really looking for someone when we started dating (frankly, I had probably given up on the notion that I would find someone I was happy with), I see now that I was feeling very empty. My life wasn't all that fulfilling. I had my work, my family, my friends, my sorority activities...but there was definitely something missing. There was a void I had ignored. There was certainly no adventure. In some ways, I really wasn't feeling anything. I was just going through the motions of life. The last 19-20 months have brought me back to feeling alive, though. I have the full range of emotions that I should have and I feel so many things that I'm not sure I've ever truly felt. I definitely have more adventure. I feel more of a sense of purpose. I have a clear vision of what I want in life, what is important, what is not and what I value. He has made my life better in so many ways and I now feel like I am truly living.

Hope and Plans

2010-09-14T04:31:00.002-05:00

Day Five: Something you hope to do in your life
I want to be a wife and a mother. I want to travel extensively. I'd like to visit every continent (yes, even Antarctica).

Day Six: Something you hope you never have to do
Survive my children. Become a Gold Star wife.

The Captain talked to someone at Branch yesterday and it looks like we'll be moving to Fort Leavenworth, Kansas in a few months. He should have orders by the end of the month. It's not where we wanted to go, but it's only a year and we're both excited about moving back to the US. I'm also glad to know where we are going and start planning!

Image via Wikipedia

Forgiveness

2010-09-12T04:57:00.001-05:00

Day Three: Something I need to forgive myself for
Well. How do I answer this one (and the next one) sufficiently without saying too much? I suppose they will both be pretty vague. Several years ago I did something fairly reckless and it could have hurt other people. As it turned out, I probably hurt myself more than anyone else. No one died. No laws were broken. It was just an epic lack of judgment on my part and it wasn't in line with my character. While the outcome was far less harmful than it had the potential to be, I find that I haven't really been able to forgive myself for it.

Day Four: Something I need to forgive someone else for
As much as I would love to blast this person and tell the world what he did, I have to protect the innocent; his victims. I know an individual who hurt people that I care about. He hurt them in ways that are pretty close to unforgivable. Well, I guess they are unforgivable to me at this point in my life, anyway. His actions were bad enough, but they caused such a domino effect that no one involved was left unscathed. He broke people. He broke families. He broke faith. I suppose the rest of us were collateral damage, but the damage has proved to be permanent. Maybe I would be able to forgive if he had paid some price. Maybe there are more people than just him that I am so uncontrollably angry with at times. It's a heavy, dark loathing that I carry for him and I know it's unhealthy. It has been a long time and maybe one day I will find a way to forgive. I know that I need to. His victims, direct and indirect, have paid heavily. It is unjust. I need to figure out how to rid myself of the anger, the sorrow, the pain and the animosity. One day, maybe. One day.

Remember

2010-09-11T05:06:00.000-05:00

Remember those who were lost that day.

Remember those who have sacrificed their lives since then.

Remember those who continue to put it all on the line every day.

My heart is heavier than usual on this 9 year anniversary of September 11th. I'm not sure if it's because I'm just overly emotional or because I'm with a man who does sacrifice every day for this country. I guess the significance hits a little closer to home when you love someone whose life is now so defined by the events of 9/11, someone who has been personally affected by those events. My heart is especially heavy for all who have lost someone either on that day or in the years since then defending our freedom. God Bless the survivors, the fallen and the fighting.

Day Two of Truth

2010-09-10T08:07:00.000-05:00

Day Two: Something you love about yourself

As I mentioned yesterday, this entry is a bit more challenging. I tend to be so hard on myself and focus on the things that I don't like, so when I try to think of what I do like, I draw a blank. I think that I am a very loving and loyal person. I'm a good daughter, good sister, good aunt, good girlfriend and good friend. At least I try to be. I am compassionate and I care about others. I'm giving. And I'm back to drawing a blank....

I tried!

30 More Days

2010-09-09T07:06:00.000-05:00

I was reading Faith and Deployments and came across a new 30 Day Meme. This one is a little different, a little more challenging. It will make me think and do some self-exploration, I think. Since I'm flying solo this month, I think I'll try it out. Here's the schedule. Want to join me? (My first entry is after the schedule....)

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Day One: Something you hate about yourself
Oh boy. I've been wallowing in my insecurity lately, so this could get lengthy. And that is one thing I don't like about myself - my insecurity. I feel loved and I know that the Captain chose me and continues to choose to be with me, so why do I get so hung up on things that make me feel bad (I'm not as pretty as so and so, does he wish I was more like his ex-wife, I bet he wishes I was more {insert random thing here}). I don't express these things often, but these types of thoughts have really taken over my mind lately. The few times I have talked about it, he's very good at telling me that he wants me and only me, I am beautiful, he loves me, etc. But I'm terrible at turning off my worries. I don't like that I'm not very assertive. I will let people hurt me and walk all over me. I won't speak up for myself. It's something I'm working on, but it's a struggle. I don't like my body or my complexion. Or my stretch marks (and I have no child to blame for those!). I could go on, but I won't Yeah....I need to learn to be more positive! Tomorrow's entry might pose more of a challenge.

This and That

2010-09-05T10:11:00.000-05:00

* The Captain will be gone for most of September. Booooo. I knew he'd be TDY this month before I moved out here and it's way better than being separated for months and months, but it still sucks. It really sucks because I can't drive here. So I am kind of stuck in one spot unless I want to spring for a taxi and they are stupid expensive. So I'll watch my one channel of AFN and whatever I can find online, read, play on Facebook and take a lot of naps. Wake me up when September ends. (Thanks, Green Day.)

* We are trying to make plans for when we move back to the States at the end of the year, but he has yet to receive any orders. He had been conditionally accepted to NPS, but he was TDY for 3.5 months when the deadline passed to turn in the rest of his paperwork. He just didn't have the time or capability to get it all in. He's disappointed not to go and I'm disappointed to not live in Monterey. If nothing else works out, we'll be going to Leavenworth for CGSC. He would prefer to go to school in Newport RI, so I'm hoping he is able to do that. He'd be happier with that and I'd totally be happier living in RI than KS! Regardless of where we end up, it will be nice to be living in the US again! I will never take a dishwasher or garbage disposal for granted again.

* I experienced my first typhoon last week! Typhoon Kompasu hit the island and brought fairly strong winds and a ton of rain. It wasn't as strong as what was expected, so there wasn't a lot of damage or anything. I retained electricity and cable, so I was pleased. We had another typhoon watch for this weekend, but it died out.

* I sold my car when I moved out here, so we're starting to check out what to get when we move back. I really like the Acura TL, but he doesn't think it is very well made. He also ruled out the Altima and Accord. What has survived the list so far? Audi A4, Camry, Passat, Mercedes C350 (Ha, yeah right.). I'm pretty excited about getting a new car! Heck, I'm excited about being able to drive whenever and wherever I want again.

* We went on a little shopping spree and bought a new TV and I got a MacBook Pro to replace the laptop that went on permanent vacation with United. It is sweeeeeet. We also ordered the new Apple TV. I like new toys.

* I slipped on the sidewalk this morning and my wrist is absolutely killing me now. It's all swollen and funny looking. They used coral in a lot of the paving here and it gets so slick when it rains. Flip flops with no traction are probably not the best footwear to sport, huh?

Getting to Know You Sunday....

2010-08-22T19:38:00.000-05:00

It has been forever since I blogged!! I had this grand plan when I moved out here that I would blog more frequently and document our time in Japan, but you know what they say about the best laid plans. It doesn't help that my laptop went on a vacation. Without me. To make a long, frustrating story short, the Captain and I flew to North Carolina earlier this month and everything that could go wrong for me (short of crashing), did. My bags were lost and I now no longer have a laptop, iPod or camera. It was the most insane thing that happened and while they take full responsibility, I haven't seen any real action yet. I'm trying to figure out the reimbursement aspect of all of this, but they want proof of ownership for my belongings and I don't have that. I did receive a $400 travel voucher, but I am not really wanting to fly United Airlines anytime soon. We are not friends anymore.

1. If you could host a Reality TV show, which one would it be?

The Amazing Race!! I would really love to be a contestant on AR, but if I host it then I could still do the traveling.

2. Do you put your seatbelt on before or after you start the car?

After

3. Shave or hair removal cream?

I do a little of both and waxing, but I shave on a normal basis. I do the others for more special occasions or before a trip.

4. What's your favorite feature in a house?

A spacious and functional kitchen with amazing appliances....ahh I can't wait until we live in a real place!

5. What is your favorite "Fall" scent?

Anything spicy. Vanilla, cinnamon, pumpkin....

6. What tv show are you looking forward to seeing the most this Fall??

Oh so much. I'm pretty psyched about Grey's and Brothers and Sisters starting up.

7. Personal Shopper or Personal Chef?

Chef!

8. What is the first word that comes to mind when you think of "Fall"?

FOOTBALL!!!!

Five Question Friday

2010-07-23T05:55:00.001-05:00

1. What were your school colors?

My high school colors were black and gold. My college colors were blue and white. My grad school colors were also black and gold.

2. What's the best compliment you ever received?

The one that took me the most by surprise and really touched me was being told that I was most impressive woman he had ever known.

3. Do you buy cheap or expensive toilet paper?

CHARMIN! It must be Charmin.

4. Have you ever had a surprise party thrown for you? Or have you had one for someone else?

Yes, but I knew about it before I got there! I've had one surprise party and two surprise dinners and they were all leaked before I arrived!

5. What is one material possession that you "can't live without"?

Let's go with my laptop for now.

Day 30 - I made it!

2010-07-20T04:01:00.001-05:00

Image via Wikipedia

Day Thirty: Whatever tickles your fancy

I made it to the end of the Thirty Day Meme! Have you learned anything new about me? Technically, this took more than thirty days, but that is okay. Today is my birthday! I have to admit that it doesn't really feel like my birthday. The Captain is traveling this week, so I'm by myself. That's just the way this life works out sometimes, though! He was deployed on my birthday last year and I'm quite positive it's not the last holiday, birthday or anniversary that we won't spend together. He'll be gone for his birthday, too. That just means we get bonus days to celebrate, right? I'm going to go wander around on Kokusai-Dori Street and just try to enjoy myself. Kokusai Street is the major shopping/entertainment district in Naha. It's pretty interesting! There are a variety of restaurants, shops, bars and pretty much anything else you can think of. I like checking out the stores and will definitely have to come back before it's time to PCS out and spend some money! I might sample some random international foods. I haven't even had proper Japanese food on Okinawa and this is my second time here! I'm actually wanting to try the Turkish food vendor, for some reason. I had Charlie's Tacos yesterday and they were SO good. One of my sorority sisters is from Okinawa and she has given me some great tips of places to check out. Apparently Blue Seal Ice Cream is a must try, so maybe that will be my equivalent of birthday cake! You can also sample pretty much any sake, awamori or anything else that is sold in the liquor section of these shops. Can't beat that! I'm not sure I'm ready to try the Habu Sake yet, though.

Days 28-29

2010-07-18T08:48:00.000-05:00

Day Twenty-Eight: This year, in great detail

2010 has been a really strange year for me! The majority of the year was uneventful, emotional and quite frustrating. I was bored most of the time and on most days, nothing ever happened. But when things did happen, they REALLY happened. Can a year be both uneventful and the most eventful at the same time? Somehow, mine has been....

January - Rang in the New Year in Atlanta with the Captain after watching our beloved Tennessee Volunteers lose to the Hokies in the Chick-Fil-A Bowl. Made plans to go to Hawaii at the end of February.

February - Met the Captain in Hawaii!

March - Still in Hawaii. Was able to meet up with two of my sorority sisters while I was there. We went to the Honolulu Panhellenic Alumnae Association Badge Day Luncheon and had lunch another day, as well. Had a little tour of Honolulu. Experienced a tsunami warning, but it never really happened....which is good, right??

April: This was a pretty low key month. It had a lot of ups and downs and brought about many questions that weren't answered until somewhat recently! I was still trying to find work and getting extremely frustrated with that process!! Started to seriously look into pursuing another degree.

May: The month started with the major flooding in Nashville. It was horrible to see the devastation of the place I call home, but so encouraging to see the way the people in this city pulled together to rebuild. Started spending more time with one of my best friends that I had not seen in awhile. Her husband was deployed so we were really able to understand what each other was going through without our significant others around!

June: This was an interesting month!! I started the process of moving in with the friend I mentioned above for a few months and had a blast with her. Then at the end of the month, the Captain asked me to come to Japan and the rest is (recent) history. So in the last few days of June, I packed up my apartment, moved everything into storage, booked flights and got ready to move to the other side of the world.

July: Said my goodbyes, cried a lot and boarded a plane to my new home on July 1st.

Day Twenty-Nine: Hopes, dreams, plans for the next 365 days

There is so much I could say about this one. I can't say I have any concrete plans because we're just kind of living life at the moment. Partially, it's just due to the military lifestyle that I don't have things mapped out right now, but being unmarried at this point also plays into my lack of real plans. I know what I want to see happen and I know what I think will happen, but who really knows? If you had told me a year ago that this is where I would be right now, I might have laughed at you. I was pretty sure this was the path I wanted to go down, but we were not anywhere close to making this happen or even talking about it. Without getting too detailed (Am I afraid I'll jinx myself? Do I just feel weird blogging about what I want out of life?), I hope that I continue down the path I am on now. I hope that I am still by the Captain's side, wherever that takes us. I hope to see my brother enlist and start a new chapter for himself and his family. I hope to find where I belong professionally. I hope to keep my important relationships strong and be okay with the ones that have failed in the last year. I hope I will remain supportive to the man that I love and that he will always know he has me to come home to. I hope that I can get healthy and feel comfortable in my own skin. I hope to see my nephew grow and learn and that he will remember me and know who I am after moving so far away. I hope that in 365 days from now, I will be a better version of myself and that I will be happy, loved and still in love. (and perhaps sporting a new last name....)

Days 26-27

2010-07-16T01:44:00.000-05:00

Day Twenty-Six: Your week in great detail

I really do not have much to tell! I've bounced between a hotel and the Captain's room on post for the week and helped him get ready for his next trip (laundry, packing, organizing). I've unpacked my own stuff and tried to get into as much of a routine as possible. Finally watched Big Brother last night. I've been doing my best to communicate with friends and family back in the States. We've really just been super lazy all week!

Day Twenty-Seven: Your month in great detail

The first day of July I embarked on my journey to Japan! I flew from Nashville to Chicago to Tokyo and finally to Okinawa. After 23 hours I was reunited with the Captain and I think we were equally thrilled. Since then, we've just been trying to get settled and plan out how things will work out here. I think I've already mentioned everything I have done this month in the first part of this blog and my previous blog!

Days 24-25

2010-07-14T07:35:00.001-05:00

Day Twenty-Four: Whatever tickles your fancy...

Well, I need to try to get caught up, so an update will be what tickles my fancy!

I'm trying to work my way back into my online world! I've been in Japan for about a week and a half now and I am so incredibly glad that we came to this decision. He took 2 weeks of leave so we've been able to spend a lot of time together and it has been wonderful to see him every day. He'll be on a TDY next week, so it will be our first little test. I'm used to us being apart, so I don't think it will be horrible. The bad part is that my birthday is next week so I will be alone that day. However, if I had been in the states, we still would have been apart and my parents will be on a cruise, so I would have been alone anyway! We haven't done too much since I've been here except chill out, watch TV and movies and just enjoy being together. That's fine with me! We did go over to Kadena Air Base the other night to have dinner at Chili's (it was sooooo good) and went to the movies to see Knight and Day. I am trying to get him to take me to see Eclipse before he leaves on Sunday! We still have some details to work out since we did this so spontaneously, but it will all come together.

The flights were not bad at all. I guess being incredibly excited helps you to not be miserable during 23 hours of travel. It also helped that I was able to move to a bulkhead exit row seat from Chicago to Tokyo!

I have to say my family has been amazing. I was afraid that my parents would completely freak out with the news. They've been anticipating me moving eventually and knew that I wanted to go to Japan, but I knew the turnaround time of this move would throw them for a loop. They were surprised, but absolutely supportive. They made sure that this was what I wanted and that I was happy, some tears were shed by all and then my dad helped me book my flight. They worked their asses off to get me packed up and moved out of my apartment. They helped me get what I needed to make this happen. They made this quick transition as easy as possible for me. I have never lived more than 30-45 minutes away from my family, so I knew this would be tough. I was afraid the airport goodbyes would be absolutely miserable, but I think I cried more than anyone else. They held it together for me and my dad assured me that this was a good move, a good decision. That meant the world to me. I was sad that I didn't get to say a real goodbye to my brother, his family and many of my friends. Maybe it's easier not to prolong the goodbyes (or the Farewell Tour, as I started calling it), but it was hard not to be able to see people. I'm just glad that everyone has supported me....or at least pretended to support me! My grandmothers did not "give me their blessing" since I wasn't married before living with the Captain, but that's to be expected. They were still happy that this was happening in my life. I feel very, very blessed.

Day Twenty-Five: Your day in great detail

Woke up at the hotel around 0600 and we walked over to his room in post. Went back to sleep for a few hours. Researched the exchange rates for all of the countries he was in during his April-June TDY to help him out with his travel voucher. Watched lots of Deadliest Catch episodes and cried when Phil died. Anticipated Big Brother but was sad to realize that it doesn't come on until tomorrow. Cleaned the kitchen after he cooked our dinner. Had to go back and fix the exchange rate spreadsheet. Got a little irritated because the Captain fell asleep at 2030 when we were sitting there talking. Cleaned the exploded Coke out of the freezer. Tried to catch up on the Internet. Blogged!

It's almost go time!

2010-06-30T23:21:00.000-05:00

In 11 hours and 15 minutes, I will be boarding a plane to Chicago. This, of course, will lead me to another plane. Destination Japan! In 33 hours I will be with the Captain!!! Just wanted to let everyone know that I'll be back to blogging some time next week with my travel updates and will pick my 30 Day Meme back up then! Stick around for my new adventures!!

Day 23 and Big News

2010-06-28T10:15:00.001-05:00

Day Twenty-Three - A You Tube video...

I'm sure everyone has seen this already, but it just doesn't get old!

82nd Airborne in Afghanistan

Okay, so you want to hear my news? Well....I'm moving to Japan! The Captain and I have been talking about this for a long time and we're finally at the point that we are ready to do it. He has 5-6 months left and I will be joining him for the remainder of his tour there. I am beyond excited and can't wait to finally be with him on a daily basis after 18 months of doing the long-distance thing. We're actually doing this very soon....as in Thursday. Yes. I am leaving Thursday morning! I'm definitely all over the place emotionally. I've never lived more than 45 minutes from my family, so this will be hard. My parents are supportive of the move, but they both cried a little when I told them. I kind of expected my mom to cry, but my dad?? The airport is going to be ROUGH! I will miss them terribly and there are a lot of things I will miss out on - my nephew, his birthday, possibly seeing my brother graduate from Basic, random family events - but this is what we sign up for when we fall in love with a military man. I knew that in the beginning and I am okay with it, but it does make me a bit emotional. I'm nervous about leaving, but I'm really not nervous about moving to Japan at all. This feels completely right and I'm just thrilled to be moving forward with our life together. I can't wait to see what it brings. By the end of this week, I will be back in the Captain's arms and I can't imagine anything sweeter right now.

Days 20-22

2010-06-28T02:47:00.000-05:00

Day 20 - A hobby of mine...

I used to say scrapbooking was a hobby, but I haven't done it in awhile. I tend to be very behind in this and definitely have to be feeling creative to be in the mood to work on them.

I love to read, so I'm sure that would be considered a hobby.

Genealogy is another hobby of mine. I enjoy the research of it (yep, I'm a dork!) and love to trace my family roots.

Day 21 - A recipe

Everyone that I have made this for absolutely loves it! It's pretty easy, too!

Chicken and Orzo

1/3 c. Teriyaki marinade
1 clove garlic, minced
1 tsp. olive oil
1/2 tsp. Italian seasoning, crushed
2-4 chicken breasts
Veggies of your choice (I use red, yellow and orange peppers, squash, zucchini, green beans, carrots)
Package of orzo pasta

Lay out chicken on foil packets (or just a long sheet of foil). Add veggies. Pour marinade on top (first 4 ingredients). Seal foil tightly. Bake at 400 for an hour or until chicken is done.

Cook orzo according to instructions on package.

Serve chicken and veggies on top of orzo. Can spoon marinade over the top.

It is SO good!

Day 22 - A website

Well, I'm rather obsessed with Facebook, but I think everyone knows that site! I also frequent the online alumnae chapter of my sorority (Delta Zeta), Surfing Sisters. Well, that is the the link to the informational page. I always go to the forum! I'm a new junkie, so I'm on the Fox News site a lot, too.

I have some big news to share! I'll wait until tomorrow, though, I'm sleepy! I've had a pretty eventful weekend...

Days 17-19

2010-06-24T23:28:00.000-05:00

Day 17 - An art piece

Almond Blossom

Van Gogh

Day 18 - Whatever tickles your fancy

You know, I just don't really care for that phrase. It's kind of dirty sounding. Speaking of dirty, has anyone tried the Shake Weight? It's odd. And if you have a mind that travels to the gutter every now and then, it's kind of amusing. I saw a man in an aisle at Target last night demonstrating it and I felt like I shouldn't be watching. Saturday Night Live did a parody of the commercial and it is pretty funny and not appropriate at all.

Day 19 - My talent

Do I have a talent? I'm not sure I have found mine yet. I used to say it was writing, but I have kind of lost my flair for it. I used to write poetry and had several published, but I haven't written creatively in years. I can still write a pretty good paper though! (Because that skill comes in handy all the time...right??) I'll find it eventually!

Day 16 - More music!

2010-06-22T15:15:00.000-05:00

Day Sixteen: Song(s) that make you cry....

It does not take much to make me cry - especially music! Here are a couple that get my emotions going...

And how does anyone not cry when they hear this one??

Days 12-15

2010-06-21T18:42:00.000-05:00

Day Twelve: This is another anything goes day. Since yesterday was Father's Day, I'll post a picture of my Daddy and me.

Day Thirteen: A fictional book

From Goodreads.com :

Ian McEwan’s symphonic novel of love and war, childhood and class, guilt and forgiveness provides all the satisfaction of a brilliant narrative and the provocation we have come to expect from this master of English prose.

On a hot summer day in 1935, thirteen-year-old Briony Tallis witnesses a moment’s flirtation between her older sister, Cecilia, and Robbie Turner, the son of a servant and Cecilia’s childhood friend. But Briony’s incomplete grasp of adult motives–together with her precocious literary gifts–brings about a crime that will change all their lives. As it follows that crime’s repercussions through the chaos and carnage of World War II and into the close of the twentieth century.

Day Fourteen: A non-fictional book

Journalist Bob Greene embarked on a long journey across the breadth of the nation, hoping to spend time with Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, George Bush and Ronald Reagan. The result of his odyssey is Fraternity.

Day Fifteen: Fanfic...

Umm, fanfic? I can't say I've ever read a fanfic. (Should that be one word?) The only ones I have ever heard of were for Twlight, so here's the first thing that popped up on Google for Twilight fanfic: http://www.fanfiction.net/book/Twilight/

Day 11....Recently

2010-06-17T16:38:00.000-05:00

Day Eleven: A photo of yourself that was taken recently

Waikiki Beach, March 2010

I think this is the most recent picture I have of myself.

Day 10....Flashback!

2010-06-16T16:44:00.000-05:00

Day Ten: A photo taken of yourself more than ten years ago...

May 1996

(I'm on the far right.)

This was taken on Senior Day in the Hardee's parking lot as we were skipping first period. :)

Day Nine....Photo

2010-06-15T12:24:00.000-05:00

Day Nine....A photo I took

Sunset from our room in Hawaii - March 2010

And the winner is.... (Days 6-8)

2010-06-14T01:27:00.001-05:00

Day 6 is an anything goes day, so I'm using it announce my giveaway winner! *drumroll please* Liz at Hello, Hansen is the lucky recipient of a blog button from Designer Blogs! Congrats, Liz!!

Day 7: A picture that makes you happy

This isn't a very good picture, but it reminds me of how excited (and crazy nervous) I was when I was boarding my flight to Japan to visit the Captain last summer.

Day 8: A picture that makes you sad or angry

This was taken on the day my dog, Hoover, died last year. I miss my puppy dog (okay, so at 14 he wasn't really a puppy....) and while I'm glad I have the picture, it makes me sad that he's gone. It also reminds me of that day.

Days Four and Five

2010-06-12T00:55:00.000-05:00

Day Four: Favorite Books

I've always been an avid reader. I enjoy getting into a great book and just reading for hours. I've definitely lost sleep from getting caught up in a book! Here are a few of my favorites...

Day Five: Favorite Quote

"All great things are simple and many can be expressed in single words: Freedom. Justice. Honor. Duty. Mercy. Hope." - Sir Winston Churchill

The giveaway winner will be announced tomorrow!! Sorry it's a little late. :)

Day Three....TV Shows

2010-06-09T22:20:00.000-05:00

I follow entirely too many TV shows. I enjoy dramas, comedies with good story lines, true crime shows, reality game shows, celeb-reality shows, the news, etc. Really. Too much! Here are a few of my faves....

Day Two...Movies

2010-06-08T14:09:00.001-05:00

Day Two of the 30 Day Meme...
Favorite Movie

Like songs, I can't pick just one favorite movie. Okay, I can't pick one of anything because I'm terribly indecisive, but that's not that point! So here are a few of my faves...

I really love too many movies to put them all here, but these were the ones that came to mind!

My giveaway ends tomorrow!!

30 Days of Me

2010-06-07T13:02:00.001-05:00

I've seen this making the blog rounds and, well, I'm a follower. I'm going to do my best to keep up with it! In the meantime, make sure you enter my giveaway! It ends this Thursday!

30 Days of ME
Day 1: Your favorite song
Day 2: Your favorite movie
Day 3: Your favorite television program
Day 4: Your favorite book
Day 5: Your favorite quote
Day 6: Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 7: A photo that makes you happy
Day 8: A photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 9: A photo you took
Day 10: A photo of you taken over ten years ago
Day 11: A photo of you taken recently
Day 12: Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 13: A fictional book
Day 14: A non-fictional book
Day 15: A fanfic
Day 16: A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17: An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
Day 18: Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 19: A talent of yours
Day 20: A hobby of yours
Day 21: A recipe
Day 22: A website
Day 23: A YouTube video
Day 24: Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 25: Your day, in great detail
Day 26: Your week, in great detail
Day 27: This month, in great detail
Day 28: This year, in great detail
Day 29: Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30: Whatever tickles your fancy

Day One - My Favorite Song....
That is SUCH a hard question! I love music and every other song that comes on is "my" song. Instead, I'll leave you with my favorite songs this week. :) They are the ones that I tend to repeat a couple of times when they come on my iPod or I find myself singing in my head at random times. "Soon As You Can" by Dierks Bentley and "Makin' Plans" by Miranda Lambert...

Thank You For Being a Friend

2010-06-03T18:17:00.000-05:00

How sad! RIP Blanche.

Betty White is the only Golden Girl left now. :(

Don't forget to enter my giveaway!!

Time for a giveaway!

2010-06-01T14:06:00.002-05:00

I knew I wanted to host a giveaway when I reached 100 followers. Well, I'm at 170 now (what??), so I think it's time! Amy at Designer Blogs has agreed to design a blog button for a lucky reader! The giveaway will end on Thursday, June 10th and I will announce the winner on Friday, June 11th.

To enter, leave a comment here on my blog. You can ask me a question, tell me you love me, tell me your favorite recipe or just say hi. As long as it's a comment, it counts as an entry!

For additional entries (make sure you leave a comment for each additional entry):

* Add my button to your blog
* Follow my blog

* Follow me on Twitter (let me know what your Twitter name is)

* Blog about my giveaway

* Tweet about the giveaway (can do this once a day)

Check out Amy's portfolio to start thinking about what your blog button could look like! Good luck!!

New Look!

2010-05-27T16:48:00.000-05:00

Notice anything different? It's my sweet new layout! The 22 Year Old Housewife hosted a giveaway recently and I won a blog makeover by Mrs. Muffins! She does such a great job. I love my pretty new look and I wanted to send a big THANKS to the two ladies who made it happen. I also have a button now (see, there on the right....yep, that's it!). I would love it if you would grab it and add it to your blog! Need a new look for your blog? Go over to Mrs. Muffins and get started! She's wonderful to work with and you'll love the results.

I'll be hosting a giveaway soon! I think I will start it on Monday.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-05-26T04:11:00.001-05:00

I miss being in Okinawa.

*Still working on an "ask me anything" post. Want to know anything? Ask away!

Back to School? Maybe?

2010-05-20T04:18:00.000-05:00

Image via Wikipedia

Blogskeeping first, then blogging: I've seen a lot of blogs doing "ask me anything" types of things to introduce themselves to all of their new readers. I'm not really sure anyone wants to know anything about me, but if you want to ask me something, go for it! I'll see if I can get enough questions to make a post out of it in a few days.

After months of dead ends in the job hunting world, I'm seriously considering going back to school. Again. The idea has always been in the back of my mind and I think I have always figured I would end up back in school at some point. I enjoy school. I enjoy learning. I feel like I am completely unmarketable at this point. That is hard for me to swallow when I look at how much time I have already spent in school and have racked up in student loans. I'm immensely proud of graduating from Vanderbilt, but was it worth it? Pride wise, sure. It's one of the few things I can say I'm proud of in my life. However, that degree really has not done much for me professionally. I wish I would have known that social studies teachers are not exactly in high demand. I wish I would have known that if you are female and you aren't a coach, you more than likely will not be teaching social studies in high school. I set out to teach government and psychology. If I were teaching those subjects, I think I would love it. The two years that I have taught were in middle school geography. I don't like middle school and I'm not particularly great at geography. Therefore, I haven't enjoyed my teaching experiences at all. And if I'm honest, I don't think I've been very good at it. I think it's partially due to the grade and subject matter, but what if I just wasn't meant to teach at all?

When I graduated from college, I had been accepted to the University of Tennessee's graduate program in social work. I was planning on moving to New Hampshire with the guy I thought I was going to marry a few months after graduating, though, so I didn't attend. That was an epic mistake. I worked a couple of jobs in entry-level mental health positions and found it incredibly depressing. Every job opportunity dealt with the "system" of DCS, DHS, agencies that weren't accomplishing much, etc. I didn't want to see neglected and abused children every day of my life getting screwed over by a system that sucked. I felt like if I continued my education in psych or social work, that was where I would end up. Eventually I made the decision to pursue my M.Ed. and teaching certification. Another awesome decision by me, right?

I have now found so many jobs that I think I would enjoy that require a MSSW or MS in Counseling. Jobs that I would find rewarding. Jobs that aren't like the ones I held in the years between college and grad school. UTK now has their MSSW program online, too. I don't know if it is something I should pursue or not. I'll be 32 this summer and I want to sign up for at least 2 more years of school? More student loans? Hell, I'm never going to be able to pay off what I have now. But in doing so, I might be able to find a career that I enjoy. Well, finding a job in general would be a plus right now, but I digress. If things work out with the Captain, then I'll be moving in a few months. That makes the program being offered online a huge advantage, but will both of us being in school full-time be a problem? (He's hoping to go to Naval Postgrad next year.) I'm terrible at making decisions. My track record for poor decision making doesn't help matters any. I have to do something, I just don't know what. Maybe I can fulfill that dream of being a Tennessee grad after all?

This and That

2010-05-15T04:02:00.001-05:00

First off....

Thank someone who serves today!

Thing two: I won two giveaways! I was so excited since I rarely win anything! I won an awesome spa basket from Shanon Renee at Life as a Future Navy Wife and I loooove it. I'm officially obsessed with Bath and Body Works' aromatherapy lotions! I meant to take a picture to post it but I jumped the gun and started playing with all of my goodies when it arrived. I need to gather some of it back up and take a picture. From the Sailor Wifey, I won a blog button from Designer Blogs! When I have that up, I hope you'll add it to your blog! Thanks so much, ladies!

Thing three: It's a day late, but I thought I'd participate in Fill in the Blank Friday from The Little Things We Do.

1. The very best thing about the summer is my birthday! In general, that is the best thing. I'm not a big fan of humid summers, so the season itself doesn't hold much for me!

2. My first crush ever was Jeffrey Dial. He was going to be President one day and he said I could be his Martha Washington. However, I would have to wear long dresses to cover up the birthmark by my knee. Such a charmer that boy was.

3. This may sound really silly but I have an unnatural fear of beetles/junebugs. Seriously. I know it won't hurt me, but I will scream like a little girl if one lands on me or gets close to me.

4. I squeeze my toothpaste from the bottom if I have a tube, but my new toothpaste is in a can. It's pretty cool if I do say so myself.

5. My absolute favorite comfort food is my mom's Chicken Pot Pie. Hands down.

6. A random fact about me is I never took Driver's Ed.

7. The one piece of technology that truly makes my life better and I couldn't live without is my Blackberry. I would say my computer, but without my phone I couldn't talk to the Captain. And that would make for a very sad girl.

Thing Four: Thanks to Whitney at Everything Happens for a Reason for another award!

With this award, you post seven things about yourself and then pass it on!

1. I can't swim. Well, I can stay afloat and I can doggie paddle, but as for real swimming with some kind of form? Nope.

2. I hate lettuce. People try to say it has no taste, but they are so wrong! Iceberg lettuce is horrible. If there is one shred of it on my taco from Taco Bell, I literally gag. My best friend seems to think this is funny. I do not.

3. I crave Japanese curry from Coco's Curry House like it's nobody's business. Unfortunately, there is only location in the United States and it is in Honolulu. The rest of the chain is located throughout Asia. This makes it difficult to satisfy my craving.

4. My first time in a taxi was last summer in Okinawa at the age of 31.

5. I had brain surgery when I was 19. Through my nose.

6. I have attended parties at Alan Jackson's house.

7. I have never been skiing - water or snow.

I'll pass this along to:

Michelle at A'etonu Family Adventures

Hope at Top Shelf Thinks (she also has two other awesome blogs - And So We Eat. Again. and the upcoming Beer PCS)

Mrs. Muffins

Spreading the Love

2010-05-13T03:13:00.000-05:00

Big thanks to Ines at The Few. The Proud. The Wife. and Staci at Random Ramblings of a Military Wife for the Sweet Blog Award!

Thanks, ladies! I appreciate it. Go check out their blogs - they are great! So now I am passing it along to 10 other sweet bloggers. I hope I'm not duplicating anyone!

1. Whitney at Everything Happens for a Reason

2. Sespi at And Never Did You Think

3. Alia at Yellow Ribbon Diary

4. Cheryl at Boots in the Doorway

5. Jamie at Better When We're Together

6. LMC at 'Cause I Don't Know How it Gets Better Than This

7. Her Southern Charm

8. Allison at I Heart Change

9. Mrs. Gambizzle at Life as a Sailor's Girl

10. Megan at Magnolias and Mimosas

Hope you love these blogs as much as I do!

What's in a name?

2010-05-08T02:55:00.005-05:00

First, I want to say welcome to my new readers! The blog hop was awesome and I'm so excited to have "met" so many new bloggers. I love reading what you all are writing and the pressure is on to be a better blogger on my end!! I feel compelled to have a giveaway since I'm over 150 followers now (WOW). I have no idea what to give away, though, so I'll have to think about it for a bit. :)

This week's Show Us Your Life topic at Kelly's Korner is baby names (current or future). I remember when I was younger I would write my future children's names with the last name of the boy I liked at the time. Seems pretty silly now, but I'm glad to know other ladies did this, too! Maybe I'm not crazy after all. At least not when it comes to this matter. Well I'm a grown up now (really?) and of course I still have names picked out. I don't doodle them anymore, but I have them nonetheless. I tend to lean towards traditional names and names that have some sort of meaning to me.

Girls' Names I like....
Caroline Ashley
Kathryn Elyse
I also like Emma, Abigail (Abby) and Anna.

Boys' Names I like
William Barton
Ethan Mark
I also like Elliott, Lucas, Elijah and Jackson.

The Captain would like to pass along his name to his first son as ***, II (as opposed to Jr.). I would like to use his first name as a middle name and give a son his own first. So, if we have children and one is a boy we will have some negotiating to do. I imagine I will lose that negotiation. Can you deny a man the right to pass on his name? I'm not sure you can. :)

We Are Nashville

2010-05-05T00:25:00.004-05:00

I read this article this evening and really loved it. It embodies the spirit of Nashville and Tennessee in general while describing the devastation this area is now facing. I saw another blogger friend post it and thought I would follow suit. I wasn't born here, but this is my city. I've lived in the Nashville area for 20 years and my family is from the area, so I've always considered it home. Thank you Patten Fuqua for a beautiful piece on what makes Nashville special.

(Originally posted at www.section303.com/we-are-nashvillee-4366.)

Allow me a moment to step away from the usual voice of this website.

What I am about to write has absolutely nothing to do with hockey.

If you live outside of Nashville, you may not be aware, but our city was hit by a 500-year flood over the last few days. The national news coverage gave us 15 minutes, but went back to focusing on a failed car bomb and an oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. While both are clearly important stories, was that any reason to ignore our story? It may not be as terror-sexy as a failed car bomb or as eco-sexy as an oil spill, but that’s no reason to be ignored.

The Cumberland River crested at its highest level in over 80 years. Nashville had its highest rainfall totals since records began. People drowned. Billions of dollars in damage occurred. It is the single largest disaster to hit Middle Tennessee since the Civil War. And yet…no one knows about it.

Does it really matter? Eventually, it will…as I mentioned, there are billions of dollars in damage. It seems bizarre that no one seems to be aware that we just experienced what is quite possibly the costliest non-hurricane disaster in American history. The funds to rebuild will have to come from somewhere, which is why people need to know. It’s hard to believe that we will receive much relief if there isn’t a perception that we need it.

But let’s look at the other side of the coin for a moment. A large part of the reason that we are being ignored is because of who we are. Think about that for just a second. Did you hear about looting? Did you hear about crime sprees? No…you didn’t. You heard about people pulling their neighbors off of rooftops. You saw a group of people trying to move two horses to higher ground. No…we didn’t loot. Our biggest warning was, “Don’t play in the floodwater.” When you think about it…that speaks a lot for our city. A large portion of why we were being ignored was that we weren’t doing anything to draw attention to ourselves. We were handling it on our own.

Some will be quick to find fault in the way rescue operations were handled, but the fact of the matter is that the catastrophe could not have been prevented and it is simply ignorant beyond all reason to suggest otherwise. It is a flood. It was caused by rain. You can try to find a face to stick this tragedy to, but you’ll be wrong.

Parts of Nashville that could never even conceivably be underwater were underwater. Some of them still are. Opry Mills and the Opryland Hotel are, for all intents and purposes, destroyed. People died sitting in standstill traffic on the Interstate. We saw boats going down West End. And, of course, we all saw the surreal image of the portable building from Lighthouse Christian floating into traffic and being destroyed when cars were knocked into it. I’m still having trouble comprehending all of it.

And yet…life will go on. We’ll go back to work, to school, to our lives…and we’ll carry on. In a little over a month, I’ll be on this website talking about the draft. In October, we’ll be discussing the new Predators’ season with nary a thought of these past few days. But in a way, they changed everyone in this town. We now know that that it can happen to us…but also know that we can handle it.

Because we are Nashville.

And so it rained...

2010-05-03T23:48:00.004-05:00

As most of you have probably seen on the news, Nashville is pretty much underwater.

The river is usually to the right of the trees on the far right. We had heavy rains on Saturday and Sunday and this resulted in massive flooding of historic proportions. The Cumberland River crested this evening around 52 or 53 feet. The last time the river was recorded at that level was 1937. To put into greater perspective how epic that is, the river was at 19 feet on Friday. The devastation is, well, devastating. In addition to the thousands of homes that were damaged and likely destroyed, major businesses and attractions were affected.

1500 people were evacuated from Opryland Hotel Sunday night and it now has 10 feet of water inside. It may remain closed for months. This photo is in an enclosed conservatory area.

LP Field where the Tennessee Titans play football was flooded to the 5th row of seats.

Bridgestone Arena is where the Nashville Predators play and where most concerts are held. The SEC basketball tournament was also held here this year.

I'm sure the Grand Ole Opry House doesn't need an introduction. It is also where I graduated high school.

Even after the immediate issues of safety, drinking water, electricity, etc. are taken care of, the economic impact on the area is going to be heavy. We were lucky where I live. I didn't have any damage and my parents had about 2 feet of water in their crawlspace. So many people have lost everything. It is absolutely heartbreaking to see the news coverage. Flash flooding and tornadoes were the concern on Saturday. There was actually a school portable building that some somehow made it to the flooded interstate and was floating down I-24. It ended up crashing into several cars and a tractor trailer. This picture is of the interstate at the peak of the flood.

I can't imagine what a mess Nashville will be in once the waters finally recede. I feel terrible for all these people who didn't have flood insurance and are now realizing that homeowner's insurance doesn't cover flooding. Keep Middle Tennessee in your thoughts and prayers. They'll certainly be needed for awhile.

And to bring a little levity to the tragic situation, I bring you the Nashville Tornado Penis. One of our meteorologists ended up drawing this lovely picture on air. Thanks Charlie Neese. You are now famous. (Hey, he even has a FB fan page.)

Follow Friday/Bloghop

2010-04-30T05:22:00.005-05:00

Image by Exothermic via Flickr

It's Bloghop time! Riding the Roller Coaster is hosting a bloghop for Military spouses and girlfriends. I love "meeting" new people in the blogosphere, so here's a little about me. I'm Heather and I'm a proud Army girlfriend. Tennessee is where both my Soldier and I call home. I live outside of Nashville and he's stationed in Japan, even though he's hardly ever there. I'm an alumna of Middle Tennessee State University, Vanderbilt University and Delta Zeta Sorority. I studied Psychology and Secondary Education. I love football like any good Southern girl. (GO VOLS!) I enjoy traveling, reading, getting sucked into addictive television shows and building my recipe collection in hopes that one day I might actually cook. I'm starting the Couch to 5K and will hopefully succeed in that endeavor. Ask me about it in about 2 months. I look forward to new readers and discovering new blogs to follow! Happy Friday :)

*******

After reading lots of blogs in the blog hop, I noticed many included the "how we met" stories. I thought I'd come back and include ours. I went to middle and high school with the Captain. We weren't super close, but had many friends in common, went to the same parties and events and even lived less than a mile from each other. We ended up going to different colleges and our lives took very different paths. However, even in college he lived with some of my close friends and his best friend married one of my sorority sisters. We still never truly connected. He commissioned in 2001 and left Tennessee. I stayed. In 2008 we did reconnect - thanks Facebook! He was at Ft. Bragg at the time and I was living about 30 miles from where we grew up. The rest, as they say, is history. I'm not sure why it took so many years for us to see each other the way we do now, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Guilty Pleasures

2010-04-29T04:18:00.008-05:00

Image via Wikipedia

When I visited the Captain in Japan last summer, he introduced me to several shows that I had not really watched before. Of course, I ended up getting rather hooked on a few of those shows. Like I needed more things to obsessively watch. Anyway, a few of those shows are starting this summer and I am so excited. Two good reasons to look forward to June? True Blood and Weeds. Anyone else looking forward to these?? I'm embarrassed to admit the other summer shows I'm looking forward to. They might harm my status of being an incredibly cool and sophisticated lady. What? You didn't know I have that reputation? Well now you do.

Image via Wikipedia

On Friday, Riding the Roller Coaster is hosting a blog hop for military significant others. If you're the wife or girlfriend of someone who is serving or has served, come participate!

Wish List Wednesday

2010-04-21T04:40:00.006-05:00

I would like to be here right now....

I would like to have these....

I would also like to have a generous gift card to a bookstore since I have exhausted my reading collection and I would like to be in a certain someone's arms. Yeah...we knew that already!

Fears and Frustrations

2010-04-16T03:26:00.005-05:00

When I look at a clock to see what time it is, I automatically calculate what time it is in the one of seven time zones he travels between these days. I can’t remember how to knit or how to solve an algebraic equation or where I put my high school yearbook, but I can tell you what time it is in [insert random country here]. TDY shouldn’t bother me this much when we don’t even live on the same continent, but this one is kicking my ass for some reason. Maybe because it’s so long and our communication goes way down when he’s traveling. Maybe because it means it will be at least July before I am able to see him again (which I know is nothing compared to deployments). Maybe it’s because I just wish I was waiting in a place he comes home to instead of here. Maybe it’s because I don’t have a date to count down to of when we’ll get to be together again. I’ve been pretty good about the distance between us until recently. I thought it would have been the other way around; harder at first and then getting easier. Definitely not true. My need for us to call the same place home has become overwhelming. Logically, I know I would be just as alone if we lived together as I am right now, but something inside me feels that it would be different. Still lonely, but a different kind of lonely. I guess I’m just feeling a little insecure about everything right now and I really hate that feeling. I want to know that it won’t always be like this and that we are moving towards something better. In my heart, I do believe that it’s all going to work out and that by the end of the year (if not sooner…oh how I hope it’s sooner) we can finally move forward together. I actually believe that he loves me and that he means it when he says he wants what I want. But my fears are kicking in. However, anyone who knows me would be pretty impressed that it’s taken me over a year for my fears to kick into overdrive. I just miss him. I miss being his arms. I miss his heartbeat. I miss the feeling I get when he walks into the room. I miss it all.

Bits of randomness…
• I am trying to make myself start the Couch to 5K program, but I can’t seem to make my ass go run. I’m not a runner. I’d like to be one, but I’m just not. I need a workout partner desperately. I think that would help a lot. I’d also like to try Zumba, P90X and Insanity. Yeah, I apparently have a death wish.
• I’ll have to call B something other than the Captain later on this year. His name was on the promotion list in March and I am sooo proud of him. I know it was a really big deal for him and I am praying I can be there with him when it actually takes place. I know there has been a lot of controversy, for lack of a better word, about the rank of our significant others on Twitter and the blogosphere this week, but damn if I'm not going to be proud of him. He works his ass off and has for years. Everyone should be proud of their love's accomplishments - enlisted, officer, civilian, whatever. Pride doesn't equal "wearing rank".
• The aforementioned loneliness would probably not be as ever present if I didn’t have so much down time on my hands, but the job hunt STILL sucks. My grad school was listed as #1 in the country by US News and World Report this week. A lot of good that degree and ranking are doing me, huh? I really regret not getting my degree in something else now.
• I did what I said I would never do last week. I read the Twilight series. I am hooked and feel like a dork. I need to watch the movies now. I wish there were more books in the series. I am having withdrawals.
• I hate Clearwire Internet service. They suck.
* I'm sad that Ugly Betty is over.
* I want an iPad. And an iPod Touch. And a MacBook. Yeah...I'm trying to become an Apple junkie. Too bad that takes money.

I think that covers my random thoughts and irritations. My mind is just all over the place right now! Thanks for following along :)

Still Alive

2010-04-02T07:57:00.005-05:00

Yes, I am indeed still alive. I've been in a bit of a slump and doubt anyone wants to hear me whine! But I may just throw myself a pity party anyway and blog later on today. Hawaii was fantastic. Seeing the Captain was even better. It went by way too fast. That is all for now. Just wanted to resurface a bit! Happy Good Friday!

Flashback Friday

2010-03-12T05:31:00.004-06:00

Junior prom. Taco Bell.

Stay classy, Mt. Juliet.

Wish List Wednesday

2010-02-24T11:28:00.006-06:00

I would love to have a nice DSLR. The picture quality is so much better. I'm jealous of my sister-in-law's camera! Even random snapshots come out looking way better than anything that comes out of my point and shoot.

Ah, how I would love a MacBook Pro. My current laptop overheats to the point of burning me, shuts down all the time and is pretty heavy to carry around. Oh, and the battery only lasts an hour.

I would love any Medallion status for the upgrades, priority baggage handling, priority lines, waived baggage fees, etc..but we'll get really crazy and say I wish for Diamond Medallion Status. Or I could get even crazier and just say that I want unlimited plane tickets.

Because it is simply the most comfortable bed. Ever.

(Less than 48 hours to go time!!!)

Beautiful

2010-02-18T03:17:00.003-06:00

Thanks so much to The Undomestic Army Wife for the award!!

The rules of the game:
1. Thank and link to the person that gave you the award.
2. Pass this award on to 15 bloggers you’ve recently discovered and whom you think are fantastic.
3. Contact said Blogs and let them know they've won
4. State 7 things about yourself

3000 Miles in Love
Girls to Grow
Riding the Rollercoaster
Life and Love in the South
Mrs. Muffins
Sweet Carolina Bride
The Displaced Texan
Make Mine a Mojito
Megan Writes

7 things about me...
1. Clearly, I'm an insomniac.... (Hello 3:33 AM for the millionth night in a row.)
2. I'm allergic to diphenydramine, therefore I cannot take Nyquil, Benadryl, Advil PM or any other nice over the counter med that normal people take to sleep. (Obviously, my mind is dominated by this lack of sleep thing.)
3. I had several poems published when I was in college, but I haven't written creatively since then.
4. My OCD tendencies lead me to sort my outgoing mail by zip code.
5. I don't know how to sew - like I can't even sew a button on a shirt.
6. One of my biggest regrets is not attending the University of Tennessee like I had planned.
7. I'm slowly becoming addicted to reality game shows. e.g. The Amazing Race, Survivor, etc.

(8 days!)

Sports Stuff on Sunday

2010-02-14T04:09:00.008-06:00

I know the Super Bowl was last week, but I forgot about posting my favorite commercial until I saw them over at Lovely Yellow Ribbons and LMStoehr! This one was my absolute favorite.

So sweet! (And appropriate to post on the Hallmark holiday, right?) I also loved the Doritos commercial with the little kid telling his mom's date to keep his hands of his mama and his Dorito's. Too funny. As for the game, I was torn. Although I'm not a Colts fan, I am a Peyton Manning fan from his days at the University of Tennessee. On the other hand, I thought the Saints winning wouldn't be too bad since they never have. I went with Peyton, though. And I lost. Oh well. At least it was to a team that I kind of liked! Maybe the Titans will go next year? Yeah. Doubtful.

I'm so excited that it's Olympic time! I wish I could be in Vancouver. It looks gorgeous! And really, let's be honest...I'd like to look at Apolo Ohno, too. I enjoyed the speed skating and freestyle moguls this evening. Looking forward to seeing more skiing, speed skating, snowboarding, hockey and, my fave, the figure skating. The Captain and my dad are all about curling this year. Huh? When did it gain such popularity...and why? Maybe someone can enlighten me. Go USA!

Blizzard Bloghop

2010-02-06T18:49:00.003-06:00

While I'm not exactly snowed in, I wanted to participate in the bloghop! Thanks for hosting, Household6Diva! It was supposed to snow this weekend, but alas, it did not. It is raining though. Lots and lots of rain.

So here's my little intro.... I'm Heather and I'm in my early 30s (I am not sure I've ever said that before. I'm not sure I like it.). I live outside of Nashville, TN and have for the last 20 years. I was born in Texas while my dad was stationed at Ft. Hood, but Tennessee has always been home for my family.

I went to Middle Tennessee State University and Vanderbilt University. Despite having 2 degrees, I'm currently a job seeker. I want a refund on my student loans. I'm an alumna of Delta Zeta Sorority.

I have no kiddos and I'm not married, but my love is stationed in Japan. We went to middle and high school together, but never really connected until a couple of years ago. I'm pretty glad we did. (And I get to see him in 19 days...not that anyone is counting.)

I love to read, travel, take pictures, try my hand at genealogy and scrapbooking and other random pursuits of interest.

Thanks for stopping by and learning a little about me.

(almost) Wordless Wednesday

2010-01-27T04:00:00.004-06:00

30 more days until I am here with the Captain.

I love awards.

2010-01-11T18:39:00.004-06:00

Don't you love awards, too? They make me all warm and fuzzy inside! I received an award today from Ashley over at Raising Brats! Thank you! I also wanted to thank everyone for the encouragement on my last entry. I'm so glad there are people who get it!!

The rules for this blog award are as follows:

1. To accept the award, you must post it on your blog with the name of the person who has granted you the award, and a link to their blog.

2. Pass the award on to approximately 15 other blogs that you recently discovered, and think are great!

3. Contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

So let's spread the love around.... (I chose 10...I know, I can't really follow rules. But it did say approximately.)

1. A Southern Belle and Her Officer

2. Hellcat Betty

3. French Kiss

4. A Yummy Mummy on a Pink Park Bench

5. Southern Bride

6. Eastward, Ho!

7. McGriff Adventure

8. Mermaids and Sailors

9. The Sand is Different Here

10. High Heels and Combat Boots

She's Going the Distance

2010-01-05T19:52:00.004-06:00

Here we are a few days into 2010 and I’m definitely in the post-holiday slump. Oh wait…I was never on the holiday high, was I? Well that’s okay. I did have a wonderful few days with the Captain (no, not Captain Morgan! We did pay him a visit, though.) here and in Atlanta. The time we spend together goes by way too fast. I definitely live for the moment when we are together. Turn off the phone. Log off the Internet. None of that matters when I know I have a few days with him – and a few days only. I actually left my BB on for the first few hours we were in Atlanta and it just proved to be a huge distraction that I didn’t need.

Most people who read this know that my better half is in the Army. (Maybe some days I’m the better half? Who knows? I digress…) We’ve been together for a year now and we’ve been apart for the vast majority of that year. It has been, by far, the most challenging and most rewarding year of my life. I can say with the utmost certainty that no one has ever made me happier and I have never been so proud of another person in my life. With him, I have found strength that I did not know I possessed. This relationship has definitely changed my perception of who I am, what I want and where I want my life to go. It has really changed my perception of many things and it has been an interesting evolution on my end. I’ve also caught a lot of hell from people who don’t “get it”. Why would I want to put myself through a long-distance relationship? Why would I want to date a Soldier? Really? Why would anyone ask me these things? Can you not ask that of any relationship? Dating a Soldier is tough. Yes. But I wouldn’t trade him for anything in the world. He is worth all of the ups and downs, the uncertainties, the challenges and the lonely days. The pros always outweigh the aforementioned cons. Yes, he is absolutely worth it all.

So now, he goes back to his world in the Pacific and I remain here in (very) chilly Tennessee. I don’t know what this year will bring and there are aspects of the unknown that scare me. I know there will be plenty of loneliness and tears (along with a great deal of love), but better things are on the way. Wonderfully big and better things. This much, I know.

Grinchy McGrinch*

2009-12-08T01:36:00.007-06:00

* aka me

Here we are, what, 16 days from Christmas? I have yet to get into the Holiday spirit. I suppose I'm not really Grinchy, I'm just kind of...blah. I imagine I am just stressed from the lack of career opportunities, random bits of drama and missing B something fierce these days. Maybe it will hit me in the next 16 days? If not, then I need to indulge in a few of these so I can relax a little.

The Grinch Martini

Add equal parts vodka, white cranberry juice and sour apple mix. Shake, shake, shake, serve in a martini glass rimmed with a candy cane thats been zapped in a food processor and then drink, drink, drink.

And your guests small heart will grow 3 sizes for sure.

My Shtick

2009-11-14T02:15:00.004-06:00

So I am in the car with my brother this evening flipping through my iPod. He gets irritated with me because I keep skipping songs he wants to listen to - hey buddy, my car, my iPod, my choice...but I digress. He laments the fact that I am picking "lovey" songs. "Where is your angsty music? What's up with this lovey crap?" I tell him I am not feeling angsty today and the song I picked was not particularly sappy anyway. "Well angst is your thing. It's your shtick. You have to be angsty." Um, thanks little bro. I'm not sure what that says about me. Actually, I think it might say that I'm a sad, bitchy person, but we'll gloss over that. I didn't know I had a shtick, but if I did, I would not have picked angst. Eh...who am I kidding? So I haven't been on the high end of the emotional spectrum the last few years. People can change, right? Or maybe people are changed.

And for anyone who is wondering what my sappy love song was, it was "Killing Me Too" by Sister Hazel. I think that's effectively somewhere between love and angst.

Veteran's Day

2009-11-11T04:14:00.003-06:00

I am the daughter of a Soldier. The granddaughter of an Airman and a Sailor. The girlfriend of a Soldier. The friend of many Soldiers, Marines, Airmen and Sailors. Many of my friends are members of military families. I am proud to have so many brave, selfless, patriotic and honorable people in my life. Your service has not gone unrecognized and your sacrifices have not been in vain. Thank you to all who have served and to all who continue to put it on the line every day. We are better because of you. We are safer because of you. Stay strong. Stay safe. Know that you are appreciated beyond measure.

CNN Heroes

2009-11-07T00:53:00.001-06:00

Tragedy at Home

2009-11-06T04:29:00.003-06:00

This is where I was born. Yesterday, this is where 13 soldiers were killed and 30 were injured. One man opened fire in the Solider Readiness Center. This man was also an American Soldier. It is difficult to fathom how this happened or why. On American soil, at the home base of these soldiers, more died than we typically see die in a day in combat. The place that it was least expected is where it occurred. The Soldier Readiness Center is where troops who are getting ready to deploy or returning from a deployment are processed. I cannot imagine the feeling of the weight being lifted when my loved one returns home from war just to lose them at home or thinking that I have X amount of days to spend with him before he deploys, only to lose him right before. I cannot imagine being the Soldier who is so relieved to be home and in a safe place to be met with gun fire from one of his own.

As details emerge about the shooter, he is a Major in the Army and was possibly getting ready for his first deployment. He was opposed to the war and vocal about this opposition. I don’t understand why he did not separate from the military before now if he was so against the war. As a Soldier, you know that there is the chance of combat - especially now. This man was clearly an intelligent, well-educated man in psychiatry. Why continue to serve? Why not seek out civilian employment? There is speculation that he had recently been posting alarming messages on the Internet about suicide bombings and had been on the Federal radar for the last six months. Could there have been intervention before now? And what was the purpose of killing his fellow soldiers? There are so many unanswered questions at this juncture, but I do hope that they are answered in time. This was a senseless tragedy and my heart hurts for these soldiers and their families.

Over the Top!

2009-11-03T22:16:00.004-06:00

Thanks to Nik over at One Cup of Crazy! She's over the top, so I'm pretty pleased to be in her company today.

And with any good blog award/meme, there are rules!
1. Thank the person who gave it to you - Muchas gracias, Nikki! You're the best.
2. Answer the questions below using only 1 word answers.
3. Pass it on to 6 other bloggers that I think are also Over The Top!

1. Where is your cell phone? table
2. Your hair? up
3. Your mother? caring
4. Your father? funny
5. Your favorite food? comforting
6. Your dream last night? bizarre
7. Your favorite drink? diet
8. Your dream/goal? family
9. What room are you in? mine
10. Your hobby? reading
11. Your fear? loss
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? depends
13. Where were you last night? home
14. Something you aren’t? coordinated
15. Muffins? yum
16. Wish list item? flight
17. Where did you grow up? South
18. Last thing you did? drive
19. What are you wearing? pajamas
20. Your TV? on
21. Your pets? gone :(
22. Your friends? interesting
23. Your life? changing
24. Your mood? frustrated
25. Missing someone? yes
26. Vehicle? silver
27. Something you’re not wearing? socks
28. Your favorite store? Target
29. Your favorite color? turquoise
30. When was the last time you laughed? today
31. Last time you cried? today
32. Your best friend? busy
33. One place that I go over and over? random
34. One person who emails me regularly? no
35. Favorite place to eat? Chang's

Who do I think is Over the Top?

Amanda T

107 Years

2009-10-24T22:02:00.003-05:00

Happy Founders' Day to my Delta Zeta sisters!

And we just won't talk about that football game today...

Giveaway for you to check out...

2009-10-15T23:55:00.001-05:00

One of my friends from grad school, Dana, has been designing cards and announcements for her Etsy store. They are so cute!! On her blog, she is hosting a giveaway for one of her designs. Go check her out and enter today! She has great designs up for Christmas cards, too!

Rocky Top, You'll Always Be....

2009-10-09T20:53:00.008-05:00

Over at Kelly's Korner today, it's the college football edition of Show Us Your Life. Well anyone who knows me KNOWS that I bleed orange and white. I'm an SEC girl through and through, but my allegiance lies with the University of Tennessee. (Yes, I know I'm a Vandy grad, but I've been hearing Rocky Top since the day I was born.) Grandaddy played for General Neyland and my family hails from Tennessee. I've been attending games since I was a little girl and I still love the thrill of game day in Knoxville. Vol Walk, the Vol Navy, the Rocky Top Battalion presenting the colors, Pride of the Southland Band and running through the T....and that's all before kick off! I do miss hearing John Ward say on Saturdays, "It's Football Time in Tennessee" and the ever wonderful "GIVE HIM SIX!". So our season isn't going so well, but I'm still a proud Vol fan. It's always great to be a Tennessee Vol!

Yay for awards!

2009-10-07T00:29:00.004-05:00

I received the “One Lovely Blog Award” from my sorority sister, Amanda, today! It was a great surprise and definitely put a smile on my face. You should visit her at I Love You Days! She’s a classy, Southern lady with a fun blog to read.

Here are the rules of the "One Lovely Blog Award"

Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered (although I chose some that I've known about for a little while). Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

So who are my 15?

Magnolias, Marriage and Manhattan

Some Like it Southern

An Aggie's Life

People. Love. Life.

On the Other Side of the World

My Kind of Wonderful

Life in Okinawa

An American Girl in Japan

Equilibrium

Musings on recent celebrity deaths

2009-07-09T00:27:00.004-05:00

Michael Jackson died on June 25, 2009. Earlier that day, Farrah Fawcett lost her battle with cancer. Of course, Jackson's sudden death has completely overshadowed Fawcett's death. I wonder if her family is thankful for the reprieve from the media or if it hurts them to see that Farrah's life and death are not being discussed. I was saddened by the loss of the cancer battle, even though I have never been a fan of Farrah Fawcett. There was recently a documentary covering the last two years of her battle. It was moving and heart breaking. Perhaps that is why there was a sudden outpouring of grief over her death. I feel so badly for Ryan O'Neal, their son and her poor father who has lost his wife and both daughters.

Jackson's death came as a surprise. He was only 50 years old and had not been ill. Well, he had not been critically ill. I was a huge Jackson fan when I was a child (back in the Thriller and Beat It days) and I did enjoy his music through middle school/early high school (Man in the Mirror and Black and White days). As time went on, his persona became much more troubled and bizarre. The allegations of child molestation and the controversy surrounding the parentage of his children, his plastic surgery, etc. really darkened the reputation of a once dynamic entertainer. The news has been innundated with Jackson coverage. Politicians have spoken out about it. The world seems to be in mourning over the man that the world kicked while he was down for the last 15 years.

His star-studded memorial service was yesterday. I really did not think I would have any emotions about it and certainly did not think I would cry. I also thought that it would probably be a fiasco and circus atmosphere. I was wrong on all counts. The Jackson family was able to pull off a reverent, dignified service. There were many guest speakers and performances and approximately 15K fans who were chosen in the ticket lottery. I was most moved by seeing photos of a young Jackson on the screen. He was such a cute child with the world before him. He seemed so carefree and innocent. It is terrible to think of how that child's life turned out. Of course he was massively successful and enjoyed the perks of his success, but he was constantly torn down by the world and even his family. I wonder if the trade off was worth it?

Thoughts on the service itself....

*Mariah Carey and some guy I do not know sang "I'll Be There". Granted it was a pretty terrible performance by Carey, it was still a great song to start off with, especially with accompanying the pictures of a young Jackson.

*The handfuls of cheering, whistling and yelling fans was highly annoying. I understand that this was not your average funeral, but it was not your average "concert" either. Show some respect folks.

*I was very surprised to see that the casket was present.

*I was also surprised to see that Elizabeth Taylor, Diana Ross and Quincy Jones were not in attendance. Was Lisa Marie Presley? MacCauley Culkin?

*I found it incredibly fitting and touching that the Jackson brothers, also the pallbearers, wore a single sequined glove with their suits and sunglasses.

*His children. Wow. His daughter is gorgeous and they all seem so...normal. The youngest actually looks like him a little. The gum chomping, especially by the oldest, got old quick.

*Is Joe Jackson milking all of this? I question Jermaine a little, too.

*Queen Latifah spoke. The most moving part of her speech was when she read a poem that Maya Angelou had sent. "Sing our songs among the stars, and walk our dances across the face of the moon. In the instant we learned that Michael was gone, we know nothing... with the abrupt absence of our treasure, though we are many, each of us is achingly alone, piercingly alone. Only when we confess our confusion can we remember that he was a gift to us, and we did have him."

*Lionel Richie, Berry Gordy, Stevie Wonder....compilation of Jackson singing and dancing....Jennifer Hudson

*Kobe Bryant and Magic Johnson....not really sure what Kobe's purpose was....Johnson told a funny story about eating KFC with Jackson. It was a sweet memory he shared.

*Oh good God, Al Sharpton. I just want to punch him. Why is he here? He is NOT relevant. Of course, he turned into something political, mentioned Obama twice and acted like Jackson was solely responsible for the Civil Right Movement. Just.Shut.Up. The only part I cared for was when he told Jackson's children, "There was nothing strange about your Daddy. It was strange what your Daddy had to go through."

*John Mayer (looking quite nice) played an instrumental version of Human Nature and started the emotions stirring.

*Brooke Shields started the tears for me. She spoke of her personal friendship with Jackson, both the touching and funny times. She cried while speaking and seems to be the first person to show any real emotion.

*Jermaine sang "Smile" from a Charlie Chaplain film and it was a touching tribute.

*MLK Jr.'s children spoke and some random state representative spoke....I kind of lump them into the Sharpton category - unnecessary.

*Usher brought things back to an emotional point while singing "Gone Too Soon". He choked up at the end and was embraced by the Jackson family. I'm not entirely sure when he became so close to the Jackson family, but it was moving nonetheless.

*Then we have some random moments by a British kid singing and some people I don't know singing We Are The World. They are soon joined by all of the performers from the day and the Jackson family. It was very cool to see that his children knew the words.

*Jermaine says a few words, thanks people for showing. Janet looks devastated. Some of the brothers whose names I cannot match to faces look devastated. Jermaine keeps smiling. Marlon spoke, but could barely get the words through his tears. He made me cry. Then Paris Jackson made me bawl by saying that ever since she was born, "Daddy was the best father you could ever imagine". Good Lord. Ugly cry going on. That put into perspective what kind of loss this was for his family.

In addition to these deaths, Karl Mauldin, Ed McMahon and Billy Mays died within days of Fawcett and Jackson. I kept waiting to hear that Patrick Swayze lost his battle with cancer, as well. What I did end up hearing came as a complete shock.

I had just gotten off my weekly conversation with the boy (he's deployed) and was cloud nine when I noticed two or three Facebook updates referring to the death of Steve McNair. Do what?! I Google it and cannot find anything, so I am sure this must be a hoax. I keep refreshing Facebook and the updates continue. I can find people on Twitter discussing it. But no news? Finally, Channel 5 reports that Steve McNair was murdered. I'm floored. As the hour continues, I learn that he was shot in the head in a possible murder-suicide. Nashville pretty much came to a stop on this July 4th. He was found dead that morning in a condo on 2nd Avenue. The news finally came to a head today confirming that he had been shot 4 times - twice in the head, twice in the chest - while he was asleep. His girlfriend killed him, then killed herself. He was 36 years old and left behind four sons and yes, a wife. His character is certainly going through the ringer since he was still married and was with this girl for the last six months. I can't imagine what his family is going through. But does having an affair somehow make it okay that he was murdered? Of course not! I am stunned to read people say that he deserved it or that he shouldn't receive any sympathy because of the circumstances around his death. HE IS STILL THE VICTIM OF A MURDER. If it had been the other way around and the female was the one murdered, it would be another story. We do not know the state of the McNair marriage. No one knows what happens in another person's marriage and who are we to judge their domestic situation? It does not excuse this young woman from the crime of taking a life. I am hoping to attend McNair's memorial tomorrow. #9 will always be our quarterback.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-07-01T22:13:00.003-05:00

Last day.

A random "about me" I ran across...

2009-06-28T16:47:00.004-05:00

I found this while blog surfing.

So what do you do with it? Copy it and highlight/italicize/bold/change color/whatever to the statements that are true about YOU.

Appearance:
- I am 5′4 or shorter.
- I think I’m ugly.
- I have many scars.
- I tan easily.
- I wish my hair was a different color.
- I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
- I have a tattoo.
- I am self-conscious about my appearance.
- I have/I’ve had braces.
- I wear glasses.
- I’d get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free, scar-free.
- I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
- I have had more than 2 piercings.
- I have had piercings in places besides my ears.
- I have freckles.

Family/Home Life:
- I’ve sworn at my parents.
- I’ve run away from home.
- I’ve been kicked out of the house.
- My biological parents are together.
- I have a sibling less than one year old.
- I want to have kids someday.
- I have children.
- I’ve lost a child.

Embarrassment:
- I’ve slipped out a “LOL” in a spoken conversation.
- Disney movies still make me cry.
- I’ve snorted while laughing.
- I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
- I’ve glued my hand to something.
- I’ve laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
- I’ve had my trousers rip in public.

Health:
- I was born with a disease/impairment. Not in the traditional sense. I was born with a subarchnoid cyst in my brain, but it wasn't discovered until I was 19.
- I‘ve had stitches.
- I’ve broken a bone.
- I’ve had my tonsils removed. Although they hurt and are swollen today, so I wish they were removed.
- I’ve sat in a doctor’s office with a friend.
- I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
- I’ve had serious surgery.
- I’ve had chicken pox.

Traveling:
- I’ve driven over 200 miles in one day.
- I’ve been on a plane. I have also piloted a plane.
- I’ve been to Canada.
- I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
- I’ve been to Japan. Ask me again this time next year.
- I’ve been to Europe.
- I’ve been to Africa.

Experiences:
- I’ve been lost in my city.
- I’ve seen a shooting star.
- I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
- I’ve pushed all the buttons in a lift.
- I’ve been to a casino.
- I’ve been skydiving. You can just about bet I never will.
- I’ve gone skinny dipping.
- I’ve played spin the bottle.
- I’ve crashed a car.
- I’ve been skiing.
- I’ve been in a play.
- I’ve met someone in person from the Internet.
- I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
- I’ve seen the Northern Lights.
- I’ve sat on a roof top at night.
- I’ve played chicken.
- I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
- I’ve eaten Sushi. Nor will I.
- I’ve been snowboarding.

Relationships:
- I’m single.
- I’m in a relationship.
- I’m available.
- I’m engaged.
- I’m married.
- I’ve gone on a blind date.
- I have a fear of abandonment.
- I’ve been divorced.
- I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
- I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
- I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
- I’ve kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality:
- I’ve had a crush on someone of the same gender.
- I’ve kissed a member of the same gender.
- I’ve had sex with someone of the same gender.
- I’ve had sex with more than one person at the same time.
- I am a cuddler.
- I’ve been kissed in the rain.
- I’ve had sex outdoors.
- I’ve hugged a stranger.
- I have kissed a stranger.
- I have had sex with a stranger.

Honesty/Crime:
- I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
- I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
- I have lied to my parents about where I am.
- I am keeping a secret from the world.
- I’ve cheated while playing a game.
- I’ve cheated on a test.
- I’ve driven through a red light.
- I’ve witnessed a crime.
- I’ve been in a fist fight.
- I’ve been arrested.
- I’ve shoplifted.

Drugs/Alcohol:
- I’ve consumed alcohol.
- I smoke cigarettes.
- I smoke pot.
- I regularly drink.
- I’ve taken painkillers when I didn’t need them.
- I’ve taken cough medicine when i wasn’t sick.
- I’ve done hard drugs.
- I’ve been addicted to an illegal substance.
- I can’t swallow pills.
- I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.

Death:
- I’m afraid of dying.
- I hate funerals.
- I’ve seen someone dying.
- I have attempted suicide.
- Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
- Someone close to me has committed suicide.

Random:
- I can sing well.
- I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant. Why would I want to?
- I open up to others too easily.
- I watch the news.
- I don’t kill bugs.
- I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for sake of being able to rhyme.
- I swear regularly. Not proud of it, but you asked.
- I am a morning person.
- I paid for my mobile phone ring tone.
- I’m a snob about grammar.
- I am a sports fanatic.
- I play with my hair.
- I have/had “x”s in my screen name. Lame.
- I love being neat.
- I love Spam.
- I’ve copied more than 30 CD’s in a day.
- I don’t know how to shoot a gun.
- I am in love with love.
- I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS. I am guilty of wanting to punch people who type like that.
- I laugh at my own jokes.
- I eat fast food weekly.
- I believe in ghosts.
- I am online 24/7. Pretty close, anyway.
- I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
- I am really ticklish.
- I love white chocolate.
- I bite my nails.
- I play video games.
- I’m good at remembering faces.
- I’m good at remembering names.
- I’m good at remembering dates.
- I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

Don't mind me....

2009-05-25T00:08:00.003-05:00

I'm just ranting.

Why are people so obscenely inconsiderate? Tact and manners are completely underrated these days. If I wanted to be berated, I'd go have a conversation with my ex-boyfriend. I don't expect that from someone I consider (considered?) a friend.
I was behind a car today that had bumper stickers that annoyed me. "YES WE DID" Yes we did what? Elect a socialist? Weaken our national security? Indeed. We did. I'm so proud. "PEACE. BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND." Really? Last time I checked, we were still targeted by terrorists and our brave men and women are still sacrificing for us overseas. Would peace be great? Absolutely. Do I think it's feasible in this day and time? Unfortunately, I don't.
I wish people (in this case, colleagues) would either mind their own business or just ask what is going on. We are adults. Why gossip and act the age of the children we teach?

Sigh.

I guess I just have a lot of frustration and most of it is aimed at rude people. We don't all have to like each other, but can we just leave well enough alone?

Smiles from the small things

2009-05-15T02:28:00.005-05:00

Here are "Six Unimportant Things That Make Me Happy." Thanks April Showers! I wouldn't necessarily call them unimportant, however. They are just the small things that are sure to bring a smile to my face.

1. Great beds. I love high thread count sheets, super comfortable mattresses and fabulous pillows. I could live in a fab bed.

2. Along the same lines, climbing into bed and feeling cool sheets against my skin.

3. Massages and pedis. I love being pampered and I love it when my feet are pretty.

4. Going to Target when I have money. I. Love. Target.

5. My nephew's newfound love for the word "no". He says it in SUCH a cute voice and he will say no to just about any question you ask him. I love it.

6. Board game nights with my family.

I'm really needing the small things right now after a very recent heartbreaking loss. I will blog about it soon...but I can't yet.

Bittersweet Moment

2009-01-24T22:55:00.004-06:00

Most people know of my family dog, Hoover. He's my baby and has been for almost 11 years. You may not have known that was diagnosed with bladder cancer a couple of months ago. There is no cure for it and I have a difficult time accepting the inevitable outcome. Anyway, you may not have known that he was a show dog for 5 years before he became part of our family! He was a retired champion. :) During his training, he was trained not to lick people. So the only time he has ever licked us was if we had food on our hands. I even tried to put cake batter on my nose once and he wouldn't lick it off. I went over to my parents' tonight for dinner and was holding him and all of the sudden he started licking my cheek! (No, I didn't have any food on my face.) I told my family to look at what he was doing and they said that he had been much more loving and even playful the last couple of weeks. My mom mentioned something about reverting to his puppyhood because he never really had one because he was "working". I think she was kind of joking but at the same, it made me think that he was trying to show his affection because he knows he isn't well. So of course, tears fall (like they are doing now) and he licked them off my cheeks. He's always been a sweet dog and very in tune with our emotions. I loved it because it was cute and something he had never done before but it made me very sad at the same time because I don't know how much longer we have with him. I hate to think about that and I hate he is sick. I hate crying, too. But I did love the puppy love my baby gave me today.

Flame Eternal

2009-01-24T14:26:00.003-06:00

Kay Yow, legendary basketball coach and Delta Zeta sister, passed away after her courageous battle with cancer. She will be remembered by many and her inspiration to others will not be forgotten. She coached the 1988 Olympic team to a gold medal and was a highly successful coach 38 years, the last 34 spent at NC State. She was Delta Zeta Woman of the Year in 1987.

"During her 38-year, Hall of Fame coaching career, Yow won more than 700 NCAA games and an Olympic gold medal. She was one of only six women's basketball coaches to top 700 collegiate victories. Her teams won four Atlantic Coast Conference tournament championships, earned 20 NCAA tournament bids and reached the Final Four in 1998.
Yow's greatest victories came off the hardwood, however, as she repeatedly beat back the cancer and shook off the pain of the disease and the medical treatments to lead her teams. For many fans, Yow was best defined by her unwavering resolve while fighting for her own life. She raised awareness and money for medical research and stayed with her team through much of the debilitating effects of the disease.
"Coaching lifts me up," she once said. "Once the ball is tossed up, I forget pretty much about everything and just focus on the game. If I just do nothing, I feel like I'm giving in to the disease.""

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncw/columns/story?columnist=voepel_mechelle&id=3853652
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncw/news/story?id=3857041
http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/3051932/

Seeking....

2009-01-20T21:00:00.005-06:00

Psalms 32:8
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.

Psalms 34:18
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Ephesians 3:20
God is able to do immeasurably more than all we could ask for or imagine.

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," delcares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

What song would you play.....

2009-01-16T00:45:00.003-06:00

("borrowed" from Mandy :) )

...for the first dance at your wedding? I've always liked "Bittersweet Symphony" by The Verve, but it's really not first dance material...I think it depends on the story of the the man I am marrying and me. I like "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds Five, "The Way You Look Tonight" by Sinatra and "Someone Like You" by Van Morrison.

...if you were a stripper doing a featured dance? I'll go with either "Hella Good" by No Doubt (or just Gwen Stefani?) or "Ayo Technology" by 50 Cent and Timberlake. Or "Closer" by NIN

...for your first at bat in the major league? "Cocky" by Kid Rock or "Ready or Not" by the Fugees...yeah, you can't handle what I'm about to give ya!

...at your funeral if you were a movie character? Well what kind of movie character am I? Could be "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen if it's a comedy or "You Raise Me Up" by Josh Groban if I was a really inspiring character

...while you're doing a John Travolta-esque strut in your favorite outfit? "I Turn My Camera On" by Spoon or "Stronger" by Kanye West

If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans

2009-01-04T19:42:00.002-06:00

I kind of feel like God is laughing at me. Is that a horrible thing to say? Obviously, this year, albeit short has it has been thus far, has not gotten off to a good start. I had hoped to go back to work tomorrow feeling a little more calm and in control of my emotions, hoping that the break would provide a much needed mental and emotional rest....and that's where I hear the laughter come in. I read this tonight and I'm pondering on it:
"Sometimes God breaks us to make us better. He may break our hearts so we will make more room for him there. He may break our will so we can disover his will for us. He may break our physical strength so we can discover that God's strength is made perfect in our weakness."
But what about the collateral damage? Or are we all (in my situation) being broken because have done wrong? I have always gone back and forth between "things happen for a reason" and "we're being punished for X, Y or Z". What if some people who are being broken are not strong enough to recover and become better? The particular devotional I was reading was about being "bad sheep". Have I been perfect? No. But I don't think that I have been particularly terrible, either. Not to the point of needing this much of a break down. Or maybe I have and I just don't realize it. But what about everyone else involved? *Sigh* I am definitely beyond broken.

Don't let the door hit you on the way out

2009-01-01T01:33:00.003-06:00

See ya 2008. I can't say I'm sorry to see you go. While I'm not super ready to start a new year (simply because that means I'm 4 days away from going back to work), I am glad to be finished with what turned out to be a terrible year. How's this for pessimist of the year award? I've decided that I have no hope for 2009 because then if it sucks, I won't be let down. As per the previous post, I usually have these great hopes that the next year is going to be better than the last and then it keeps spiraling downwards. Maybe if I just anticipate the continual downward spiral, I'll be pleasantly surprised if things look up. Jacked up, I know. I guess I'm just not in a very good mood because tonight (last night? NYE prior to midnight, whatever) wasn't that great and just made me realize that a change in date doesn't change the circumstances of my life. Things still suck. Going from an 8 to a 9 in our year isn't going to fix that. Aren't you glad you came to read my uplifting blog?? Sorry folks, I'm fresh out of optimism.

And it's been a long December....

2008-12-20T17:24:00.002-06:00

A long December and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last

A long December, indeed. A long year at that. I am ready to bid adieu to this month and this year. It seems as though every time something would go wrong, I would think, “Okay, this is the low point. It has to go up from there.” And then reality laughed at me. If this was just one month, even one year out of my life then perhaps it would be more manageable. However, I have approached every New Years’ Eve since 1997 with the same hopes and prayers; that the upcoming year would provide much needed peace and happiness and that the sadness of the year passing would slowly become a thing of the past. Instead, each new year has brought exceedingly difficult trials. I know all of sayings, “If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it” and “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle”, but seriously…I cannot take much more. I am physically and emotionally wore down.

The smell of hospitals in winter
And the feeling that its all a lot of oysters, but no pearls

The stress of all of these events have taken such a toll on my health, the health of my loved ones, my outlook on life, my motivation, my relationships, my family, my everything. I do not know how much more I can manage. My family cannot take much more in the “bad news” department. I cannot take much more. I don’t say all of this to seek sympathy or to be dramatic. I am just frustrated, angry and sad that I need to express it. I need answers, though I know they cannot be found by simply writing a blog. The near future feels very unstable. I know changes are coming that are going to hurt. I know that other changes are coming that the outcome has yet to be determined. Of course, there is always the unknown curveball that God may throw at me at any given time, as well. I feel like I can’t progress with my life at all, that there is nowhere to really go. When I try to make positive changes – even lateral changes – I am met by brick walls or chaos. I want to say that I feel empty, but that’s not entirely accurate. My heart feels heavy. I am filled with anxiety. My stomach is constantly in knots. My body and mind are overwhelmed with fear. I suppose that doesn’t make me empty….but I’m not sure that it’s any better than feeling empty.

And it's been a long December and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember all the times I tried to tell my myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass

Overwhelmed

2008-12-05T13:07:00.002-06:00

I'm just tired. Emotionally, physically and mentally. I feel like there is so much weighing on me and, logically, I know I can't fix most of it. That knowledge doesn't make it any better, though. I just want things to turn around - for me, for my loved ones. I want to feel like I'm moving in the right direction. I want to feel that I have some purpose. I know, I know, this sounds pathetic. I'm just really frustrated with life and I don't know how to make the changes that would turn it around. I want to be in the mood for the holidays. I want to be happy.

Join me....

2008-11-22T18:43:00.000-06:00

Heather B invites you to SocialVibe.com

Stand Up To Cancer

2008-09-05T19:56:00.005-05:00

Did you know that 1 in 2 men will be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetime?
Did you know that 1 in 3 women will be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetime?
In the last year, more people died of cancer than soldiers in WWI and WWII combined.
In the course of the last hour, 60 people died of cancer. 1 per minute.

http://www.standup2cancer.org/

RNC Commentary...Part I

2008-09-04T22:13:00.002-05:00

Don't you love how everything is in multiple parts these days? I have too much to say in short amounts of time....So we'll just cover bits of tonight's RNC program:

Tom Ridge: I liked his speech. I don’t think I’ve realized that he was a good, strong speaker before tonight. “It’s not about talking pretty. It’s about talking straight.” I loved that line. Great contrast between the eloquent candidate full of rhetoric and the candidate that actually says what he’s going to do.

Side note – When you speak and you don’t get the type of response Palin, Thompson or Giuliani received, do you feel bad?

Side note 2 - Cindy McCain’s name is actually Cindy Lou? Like Cindy Lou Who? That cracks me up. People used to call my mom that when she was younger. And further off topic, her dresses are cute.

Cindy McCain: Her speech was a bit boring. I do like that both she and Palin are mothers of military men. For eight years, pundits have asked of Bush – would you send your daughters to war? Well they can ask that of John McCain and Sarah Palin and they can answer with all honesty – yes. Do we really think that they would put the military in a position they did not feel was right when their children are there??

John McCain: Okay, how many people are going to say his was disingenuous when he said he respected Obama and was proud to be a fellow American? Is it possible that he is actually an honorable and kind man? It really upset me to hear how so many people thought it was a jerk of him to congratulate Obama on his historic nomination. Damned if you, damned if you don’t. He is definitely not as fiery as Thompson or Palin, but I loved the “don’t be distracted by the ground noise and the static” comment about the crazy protesters trying to crash the convention. I don’t get people like that. Anyway, when McCain speaks, it just seems real to me. I don’t feel like he’s throwing out a bunch of lines that are fancy and full of slogans. He acknowledged that not everyone is happy with the Republican Party right now and that he wants to earn back their trust and comfort. I like that. I believe 100% in parent choice when it comes to education, so I was glad to hear that. Overall, I like him more now than I did before. I think he’s a great choice for President. I believe we will be safe and we will prosper with him in the White House.

Other: Regarding the press and Democrats making a big deal about the relationship between Sarah Palin’s sex-ed stance and her daughter’s pregnancy…really, how many people who receive sex-ed and condoms and everything else still end up pregnant? A lot. She could have put her child on birth control and still ended up with a pregnant daughter. Kids have sex, regardless of what their parents and teachers say. Sometimes they use protection, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes the protection works, sometimes it doesn’t. Does it make it okay? No, but it’s reality. When reality hits, you have to deal with it the best way you can and trying to place blame after that is pointless.

Olympic viewing pleasure, Part II

2008-08-18T11:58:00.004-05:00

The Men of the Olympics...for your viewing pleasure...part I

2008-08-18T00:15:00.004-05:00

Yeah, I wanted to post more but I have to go to bed and get some sleep for my interview tomorrow. I shall dream of some hot Ryan Lochte, though.

Dude, seriously, I never get all crazy over guys on TV/magazines/movies, whatever, but these swimmers are just something else. I feel like an 11 year old again drooling over NKOTB...more specifically, Donnie.

Boredom = Surveys

2008-07-01T14:30:00.002-05:00

What is your last name? Brown
Do you have to drive over a bridge to get home? I do
Are you taller than your mom? Yep!
What curse word do you say the most when your pissed? Not very ladylike words. I really like to call people who piss me off bastards, though.
Do you enjoy writing in colored pens? It is quite enjoyable
Does anything hurt on your body right now? Heck yeah
Do you often cry during a movie? Haha, yeah
Do you hate your life? No
Do you get mad easily? If I get frustrated or I'm around prolonged stupidity
Do you drink? Sometimes
What is your biggest fear? Loss
Are you cold? No
Do you know anyone that is pregnant right now? Ha, yeah. Literally like 8-10 people
Who should pay on the first date? It's nice if the guy pays
Do you have any mean friends? Yeah.
What is the ugliest color in your opinion? I like colors.
Have you ever felt like driving off a cliff, seriously? Probably something similar
Do you scratch your ears? If they itch?
Who was the last person to hug you? Dad
What brand are the pant/jeans you're wearing right now? I'm not wearing pants. I have a dress on.
What is the closest green object? My dress
What is on your feet? Nothing
If you were born the opposite sex, what would your parents name you? I don't think they had anything picked out
If you could go back to any time period when would it be? High school or when I transferred to MTSU
Who do you hate the most right now? Hate is such a strong word...
Whats your father's middle name? Same as mine. Ashley
What kind of car do you want? I love the Acura TL
What is your favorite video game? ROCK BAND
Do you like your dad? Well yes
Do you have any TV shows on DVD? Mmm I don't think so
Are you wearing make up? Nope
Do you have a tattoo? Not yet
Have you ever broken a pinata? Probably
Do you know how to draw? Not in the slightest
Who loves orange soda? I do
Who did you last IM? Keith
Where were you 24 hours ago? The office
Who was the last person that called you? Dad
Is there anything you regret? Yes
Do you know where your family name originated from? Ireland
Animal that creeps you out? Those hairless cats
What's the last thing you ate? Cheerios
For or against same sex marriage? I'm not getting into a debate here
I say Shotgun! That's fine, I'm driving
How many U.S. states have you been to?: Kentucky, Indiana, Ohio, Alabama, Georgia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, Illinois, Virginia, Florida, Texas, Mississippi, West Virginia, Maryland, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, California, Arkansas. That makes 20. I've had a layover in Michigan and driven through Louisiana. Does that count?
How many of the U.S states have you lived in: 5
Who is your best friend? Chelli, Kristi, Jordan, Tasha, ok this list will be too long...those folks plus many more of my sisters
Why are you still up? Because I need to eat lunch. Now it's nap time before work starts.
Who/What made you angry today? Someone
Favorite holiday: Christmas
Do you care if your socks are dirty? Yeah
Who was the person who posted this before you? Keith
Do you love anyone? Family and those closer ones
How much money ya got? Not enough
Have you met a real redneck? Do you know where I went to high school?
How is the weather right now?: Freaking hot
What are you listening to right now?: Nothing
What was the last movie you watched?: Sex and the City
Where was the last place you went besides your house? The post office
How many pets do you have? 1 - he lives with my parents - Hoover the Shih-Tzu. He's the best
What's one thing you've learned? Things are not always what they seem
Are you missing someone: Yes
Do you have an iPod?: Yep. Nano for my car and Shuffle for work outs
Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb? Yeah, but I don't see how
Who would you like to see right now? Someone
Favorite flower: Roses that aren't red, hydrangeas, Gerber daisies
Butter, plain, or salted popcorn? Butter and salt
Has anyone you were really close to passed away recently? Yes
What's something that really bugs you? People who lie and people who are oblivious and narcissistic. Oooh, and stalkers. Seriously, am I that interesting?
What's your favorite smell? Home cooked meals, men after they are showered and ready to go, cinnamon
Favorite cereal: Raisin Bran and Lucky Charms
What's the longest time you've gone without sleep?: 2-3 days
Last time you went bowling? Umm, it was while Tasha was pregnant, so sometime last year
Who was your last phone call?: You already asked me that!
What's your favorite state to be in?: Tennessee is the place to be!! But Maine is pretty awesome, too. :)

Friendly Neighborhood Crack Dealer

2008-06-08T20:21:00.001-05:00

I don't know why this amuses me so much, but here is a GREAT quote from the wise Snoop Dogg....

"A lot of people like to fool you and say that you're not smart if you never went to college, but common sense rules over everything. That's what I learned from selling crack."

There you go kids. Who needs college? Sell crack instead! Hey, it'll probably make you more money....

Random thoughts on June 1st

2008-06-05T22:13:00.001-05:00

This was a pretty great weekend (minus my busy day working Saturday). I was able to spend time with one of my sorority sisters that lives in Connecticut and rarely get to see, as well as some of my amazing friends that I've had for years but also rarely get to see. Today, my parents have been married for 32 years. I hope that I see that day in my own life.

I saw "Sex and the City" and it was fabulous! I'm not going to give anything away, I promise! But really, in the undercurrent of it all, it made me think of friendships and relationships. There is nothing like the tight friendship, sisterhood us women have with one another. When we have those true friends, we know that there will always be someone in our corner - whether to hold us up when we're falling down, fall down laughing with us or to show us what we refuse to see ourselves - the good, bad and ugly. I also saw a lot of myself in the women, especially Carrie and Charlotte....albeit minus the Manolo Blahniks, designer clothes, fancy apartments and perfect bodies! So, even if you aren't a SATC fan, go see it. It's not just a fluffy chick flick (thought you will see some of it in there). There are some poignant scenes and situations and lines that might just resonate with you. Oh, and check your inhibitions at the door and you may not want to bring your mom or grandmother with you. :)

Yeah, so, I'm being all mushy and introspective tonight. What else is new? I'll tell you what's new. I'm so getting a Wii this week. Mark my words - I will have a Wii and WiiFit by this time next week. Hey, we gotta have goals in life, right?

I had more to say, but I'm actually kind of tired. Maybe I'll say more later or maybe I won't. It wasn't all that crucial to begin with!

Oh - and my sweet, adorable, perfect little nephew turns 8 months old in 48 minutes. I love baby Jakob! He's probably one of the most perfect additions to my life. His mama and daddy aren't too shabby either. ;)

The frequently asked question..."Why are you single?"

2008-06-05T22:11:00.001-05:00

So why are you still single?"

I'm often asked this question. I guess it is because most of the people in my age bracket are married now and having children. Why am I not in that lucky group of people? Did I want a career first? Is it because I've spent 88% of my adult life in some form of higher education? Do I not want a family?

My usual answers are, "Because I haven't met the right person, yet", "Because I don't want marry someone just for the sake of having a husband", "I haven't really found a good way to meet people", and my favorite "I don't know".

I was asked this question early last month by someone who seemed so surprised that I had not been "snatched up" yet. He thought surely by now "someone like me" would have met my Mr. Right and working on the happily ever after part. So I told him all my general reasons, all of which are true. He said he felt lucky to have met me while I was still single and proceeded to fill my head with fabulous compliments. Seriously now. In a month, he managed to say more nice and flattering things to me than Chris did in 4 years. Well, fast forward to today and said individual apparently just likes to use those lines. Nope, I wasn't anyone special and he didn't mean any of those breathtaking, sweet words. I fell for the lines and my player radar did not go off. Awesome. Back to square one, kiddos.

So in all honesty, THAT is why I am single. Men like that are why I have not met Mr. Right because all I seem to meet are Mr. Let-me-make-you-feel-so-good-about-yourself-that-you-think-I'm-charming-and-perfect-then-I'll-blow-you-off types of men. So if you are a man like that, don't ask a woman why she is single. It's because you make her that way. You don't really give her any other option.

*She said I don't know if I've ever been good enough
I'm a little bit rusty and I think my head is caving in.
And I don't know if I've ever been really loved
by a hand that's touched me
And I feel like something's gonna give
And I'm a little bit angry
...........
She said I don't know why you ever would lie to me
Like I'm a little untrusting when I think the truth is gonna hurt ya
And I don't know why you couldn't just stay with me
You couldn't stand to be near me
When my face don't seem to wanna shine
Cause I'm a little bit dirty
...........
Don't just stand there, say nice things to me
Cause I've been cheated, I've been wronged
And you, you don't know me*

These Are The Moments

2008-06-05T22:09:00.000-05:00

written 01/16/2008
"There are moments that mark your life. Moments when you realize nothing will ever be the same. Moments when time is divided into two parts. Before this and after this."

What are your moments? I know I have mine. I have some very distinct moments that at that time I KNEW life would not be the same. There are some moments that now looking back, I can say, "Wow, life really did change after one moment." Some are very small and some are obvious, smack you in the face life changing moments. So being the sharing person that I am, I'm going to expand on some of these moments, I guess the more obvious ones. (Cause I KNOW you are dying to hear about it….right? **just nod and smile**)

*07/19/1984 – This was the day that my brother, Justin, died. Life most certainly was not the same after that. People were not the same after that. Even though I was very young (it was the day before my 6th birthday), I can distinctly recognize the difference in my parents and myself after that moment.
*07/15/1993 – I won't go into much detail on this one, but it most certainly changed the path of my life.
*I think any time that I moved from state to state changed the path of life. That's how I categorize memories – "Oh, that was when I lived Houston, so it must have been around this time."
*10/17/1986 – There are also moments that mark your life in a positive way. I think we dwell quite a bit on the negative…. This day Jordan, my youngest brother, was born. A blessed moment, indeed.
*11/26/1994 – A moment some would find silly actually changed everything for me. Since you will laugh at me, I won't say what it is, but it kind of restored my faith in people.
*05/04/1998 – The day that I had brain surgery. This brought about both positive and negative changes in my life. I know that I am a different person now; I have a different perspective on relationships, health and life. It changed my faith and Christian life (for the better). I can't say that I realized it at the time and I'm sure it wasn't THAT day that made the difference, but the experience itself.
*12/23/1998 – My Papa died very suddenly. This marked a huge shift in my entire life.
*01/09/1999 – Now this is one of my best friend's wedding date, but that's not why it's a life changing day of MY life. This was when I went against my better judgment and entered into a relationship for the wrong reasons (I was grieving, he was there) and it most certainly changed the path of my life.
*Late June/early July 1999 (I know, you're shocked I don't know the exact date.) – Again, went against my better judgment and made the decision to stay in said relationship. I know now that if I didn't walk away at that point, I was never going to. Well THAT didn't get me anywhere.
*There were many moments in high school, particularly my 9th and 10th grade years, that changed me. I think at that time I became a more cynical individual and lost a lot of personal strength and confidence.
*January 2000 – A revelation rocked my world and the world of those around me. Lives were changed, people were changed and I became a different person.
*05/12/2001 – I graduated college….and realized I didn't have a clue what to do with my life. (For those of you reading this that are Delta Zetas and attended the alum academy in Dallas last year, this SHOULD have been my OSM!)
*07/20/2001 – My birthday. Something was promised to me that I did not receive. It shifted the relationship, not because it was material but because of what it represented, and it changed the view that my family had on the relationship. Trust was lost. Should have walked away…..but no, that just leads me to more moments.
*05/04/2002 – He comes home and drops the bomb. Everything up to that point was a different story from what he came home with. I had altered my life up to that point for him. Everything after that day was starting over and I, again, was changed. (So how many people have I been now???) All of those years were a total waste of time. BUT…the silver lining is that it didn't go any further, as I would probably be divorced with some kids now. Well, the kids wouldn't be so bad, but not with him!
*08/25/2004 – My 20 year old cousin died after brain surgery as a result of a head injury. Completely shocking and hard to grasp. He had only been married a year, had adopted his wife's son and had a little girl on the way that he didn't get to know about. Really opens your eyes to living your life and loving those around you.
*Fall 2004 – My grandfather was diagnosed with lung cancer. Cancer had never really affected my life until this point and while I didn't know it at the time, it paved the way for me to find something I was passionate about.
*05/13/2005 – I graduated from Vanderbilt with my Masters. I think this was the first I really felt like I had accomplished something.
*09/18/2005 – I stayed with my grandfather his last night. I cared for him, I cried, I was angry, I was remorseful over things not said or done, I was so sad that he wasn't cognizant of who I was but relieved that he was not conscious of what was happening. It was the first time I felt like a "grown up". I was there with my family when he died. I had never witnessed a death, much less of someone I loved. It definitely left an emptiness inside and a need for something more in my life.
*01/30/2007 – The day I learned that I would be an aunt! This, of course, changed many people's lives….but certainly in a positive way. We probably didn't realize at the time what an absolute blessing the little baby would be.
*03/24/2007 – I gained a sister-in-law who has become one of my best friends. I saw my brother change into a husband and not just a kid. My family expanded.
*I don't know the date, but when I found out my dear friend, Meredith, had stage 4 stomach cancer. Mer was only a few months older than me and it hit me like a ton of bricks. It really made me think about my own mortality and I was amazed by her grace and strength and positive attitude. I never thought about the possibility of cancer at my age. It made me angry, it scared me, but fed into the passion that was growing for working with oncology. When she passed away on 11/30/2007, I have to admit I lost a little bit of hope.
*Fall 2006 – I reconnected with someone who was a close friend in high school. He had been through some extremely traumatic times. This changed me in many ways – I saw how he had persevered and how your outlook on things can really change how you deal with a situation. I saw that miracles do indeed happen. I also learned a lot about myself and recognized that I was changing into a stronger, more logical and self-assured person. (I know, you are laughing at me. Putting Heather in the same sentence with strong, self-assured and logical seems like a joke. Shut up)
*10/2/2007 – My perfect, wonderful, sweet and precious nephew, Jakob Thomas was born. I became an aunt, my parents became grandparents, my brother and sister-in-law transitioned into parenthood and there was a new life that suddenly I don't know how we ever could have lived without.
*Summer 2007 – Another touchy subject, but there is a clear before and after here. And it's ongoing.

Did you make it to the end? Gold star for you. It's kind of interesting to recognize that so many moments in life change everything. So I guess our lives are forever changing. And I even told you about it in a pretty collage of color.